Waking up the next morning I turn around and feel the slightly rough sheet expecting to find a body next to mine but I don't. I open my eyes blinking slowly I get up on my elbows seeing around the room. It looks like Carter woke up before me. I let out a sight falling back on the bed grasping my head. I need to talk with him. I didn't have an easy sleep, my thoughts and Aiden's words keep running around in my head making it almost impossible for me to sleep. I still feel like shit as well.
How am I supposed to start the conversation? Where will I go afterwards? What will I do? How will our life's be after this? How will Carter take this? All these questions are lingering in my mind with me not able to give a definitive answer. It's crazy how much love and relationships play with our heads. Maybe getting into a relationship when you're in school or uni is not the best thing cause they take up an insanely amount of your time. It's very hard to focus on anything else even when you want to. Gosh! I make everything sound so dramatic!
I get up and grab some leggings and a sweatshirt going to have a quick shower and get change. The warm water eases my muscles instantly making me feel more relax. I don't take much time, I want to speak with him as soon as possible. I blow dry my hair and brush them before getting dressed and going to the kitchen. Carter is sitting there a cup of coffee in his hand as he's scrolling through on his laptop.
"Morning, " he gives me a smile.
As I approach him to go make my own cup of coffee he grabs my arms gently and beacons me closer. Leaning in he gives me a soft deep kiss. I pull away awkwardly and smile at him not wanting to make it even more awkward than what it would be in a few. I make a coffee as he closes his laptop, fearing that he's going to leave before I talk with him I wrap my arms around his shoulders from behind and whisper in his ear.
"I want to have a talk with you, " I say letting go of him and going back to my coffee.
"I can tell, " I furrow my eyebrows. I didn't think I was that obvious.
I grab my cup and go sit across from him in the kitchen isle.
"Okay, I...I wanted to talk about us."
I brush my hair out of my face looking at him. He gives me a lopsided smile as if he already knows where this is going making me gulped loudly.
"It's okay Mia theirs no easy way to say this so theirs no need to sugar coat it, " he says.
"I think we should take a break, " I finally said the words out loud. I know this isn't breaking up completely, why? You'll find out soon. I need to make sure of my feelings for Axel first.
"Yeah, I think it'll do us good."
His words surprise me. I was expecting to have a full-on argument with him but then again he did say he'll try and I can for sure see development in him.
"Come on Mia don't look so surprised. I made mistakes in the past and I learn from them. I might have been an asshole sometimes but I'm not now am I? I knew this was coming for a while now."
My mouth slightly agape at his words, his eyes are full of love and I want to cry honestly.
"How?" I gather up the strength and say.
"You can try and delay some things sure but the way your body moves against mine is betraying you and those eyes of yours. You have really expressive eyes, Mia, I don't know if you knew that but they don't always comply with your words," he takes a sip of his coffee his eyes never stirring away from mine.
"Plus you did say to me that someone else is in the picture and I can understand if you want to give him a chance. I guess it's fair if you think that he could be better than me. I want to ask you something though, " he grabs my hand from the table and holds my hand in his.
"Are you still in love with me Mia or are you in too deep with the other guy?" Gosh, I want the floor to swallow me but since that can't happen I need to speak.
"No, I'm not. I don't think I have been for a while now but I didn't realize until the other guy came around and still even then I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to hurt you because I do love you and I want you to be happy and I wanted to save our relationship. I tried, you tried but I'm not too confident about it. I think we started trying a bit too late and I think the other guy came in the picture at the wrong time for us, " I squeeze his hand as we look into each other eyes.
"I'm not too sure though what I'm feeling towards him. I'm not sure if it's true love or lust. I don't know if my feelings for him are strong enough to develop a relationship with him. I don't know him anywhere near as much as I know you. I know what we had and what we could have if we continue trying but with him I don't know what we could potentially have. Maybe that's what is drawing me closer to him, I don't know. What I do know is that he's an incredible guy that deserves a chance and many more in life. He loves me and he actually shows me that in a respectful manner since he knows I'm in a relationship. I want some time apart to think and figure out where my head is at and where my heart is, " I rub my thumb over his hand.
"Okay I get it, I think I need this time apart too because I've been feeling lately like I'm in a one-sided relationship and I don't like that. So, I do prefer for us to be apart at this time, " he removes his hand from mine after giving me a squeeze and leans back on the chair.
"I'm sorry. I never wanted us to go down this path, " I say looking down at my rings.
"Me neither Mia, me neither but I have a big part of this fault cause I wasn't the best boyfriend out there after we moved in together. We argue a lot like every other couple does but for more serious stuff, " he says as I nod along agreeing with him.
"I also want us to agree that we can both do things with other people when we're on our break, " I don't dare and look at him when I say that.
"Sure, we can, do you want to stay here or are you going to stay with Maya or Nadia?" He asks as he takes both of our empty mugs in the sink.
"I'm probably going to stay with Maya. I'll go pack a bag, " I stand up and go to the bedroom pick up a cabin bag and put in the clothes, accessories, shoes, bags and a few makeup items that I wear the most. I also put my laptop in before I forget it. Zipping it up I put on a jacket and slip my phone in its pocket. Looking up I see Carter leaning on the door frame.
"I can drive you there if you want, " he says taking a few steps forward.
"It's okay. I'll feel more comfortable taking the bus, " I say brushing past him towards the front door. I take my keys in case I need something that I left behind.
"How long is this break going to last?" He asks as I place my hand on the door handle.
"I'm not sure a week maybe two not too long that's for sure, " I turn to face him while I say this.
"Good."
He stands in front of me and grabs the handle making me remove my hand and opens the door for me.
"I hope you'll figure it out soon, " he smiles.
I launch forward and give him a tight hug closing my eyes. I lean forward a couple of seconds later and whisper "I'm sorry, " in his ear before placing a kiss at the corner of his lips turning around I grab the handle of my bag and leave him standing there alone.
After a 25 minutes bus drive I arrive at my destination. I drag my bag up the stairs since the elevator was taking too long and find the apartment easily. I came here plenty of times before so...
Taking a deep breath I knock on the door determined to feel the love.
A/N
Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Big changes are happening in Mia's life...
Do you agree with the choice she made?
Keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter bc you won't want to miss it...👀❤️
Feel free to comment & vote! ❤️
Have a nice day/night! Xx
All the love - M ❤️
YOU ARE READING
Axel
Romance"You don't like it rough?" he asks me. Oh, okay, I smirk back at him, two can play this game. "I like it... but only during sex, " I say to him watching as his smirk drops and eyes widen just for a split second. "What? Didn't expect that?" I ask...
