Axel

Chapter 57

AXEL'S P.O.V

I keep bouncing my leg and twirling strands of my hair around my index finger. I can't seem to able to keep my hands off my head. Mia keeps giving me stuff to do until Rebecca arrives in an attempt to keep my hands busy. We're making a traditional roasted dinner so that's nice. I haven't had one in a while.

I'm cleaning the kitchen counter aggressively when I feel a small hand on my shoulder. Turning my head to the side I see Mia smiling making me smile back at her. She has a very calming effect on me no matter the situation I'm in.

"Why don't you leave that for me and you go put the plates on the table?"

She picks the cloth out of my hand and continues wiping the counter in gentle circular motions.

I grab the plates and glasses and start making the table. I put one plate across the other two and go grab the wine from the fridge letting it on the table.

I remember Rebecca's reactions when I invited her for dinner, she was pleasantly shocked, to say the least.

"Are you okay?" Mia asks me while coming to stand in front of me.

"Yeah, I think I am, " I grab her chin and brought her closer to me kissing her cheek, making her smile.

A knock on the door brings all my worries back, I almost regret agreeing to this dinner. Mia throws me a look as if asking who's going to open the door. I answer to her unspoken question by approaching the door, running my hand through my hair I let out a sigh and yank the door open.

Rebecca stands there in a midi length floral dress and kitten heels. She holds in her hands a box from a bakery and has a small smile on her face.

"Hi!" she's the first one to speak showing her excitement as she looks at me intensely.

"Hi...um...come on in, " I clear my throat and move out of the way, a smile has yet to reach my face.

"Hi, you must be Mia, " she looks at her up and down before smiling.

"Yes, hi it's so nice to me you Mrs Dorey! Let me get that out of your hands."

Mia gets the box from Rebecca and takes it into the kitchen. Turning around she throws me a look basically saying to me to make an effort.

"Yeah...um, why don't you sit down Rebecca. I and Mia cooked roast dinner...it's ready so we'll just bring it in and eat, " I'm saying whatever Mia is trying to tell me with her hand motions.

I think I nailed it.

I go into the kitchen to help Mia bring the food on the table. The warmth of her hand on my arm and the soft smile she gives me before we enter the dining area reminds me that I'm not alone and I'm overreacting.

I can't help it though. It seems like I'm getting more and more anxious by the minute. I've never in my 10 years living with Rebecca tried to engage in a conversation with her. So to suddenly try to have a decent talk and let her in on my thoughts and feelings after so long of keeping her at a distance is nerve-racking.

I admit I may even feel a bit guilty for not giving her a chance. She was the first introduction of gentleness and warmth in my life and instead of taking that opportunity and giving her a chance to prove to me that not all people are bad, I shut her out.

I see that she is a good person but I can't seem to get out of my head the thought that she is just pretending and that she has bad intentions like my previous foster family had. It's like they put a dent in me that can't go back to its original shape.

We sat at the table and Mia starts small talk with Rebecca, they seem to get along. Mia tries to get me to loosen up and engage in the conversation but my mind is filled with questions and with how do I go about things. I place my glass back on the table and focus on my other hand that I have resting on the table.

"Why did you adopt? Why not conceive kids?"

There is a moment of silence as if I sucked the oxygen out of the room.

"I can't have kids so I went for the next best thing, adoption."

Now it's her turn to take my oxygen away.

"I didn't know that I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. I never told you but I definitely could of, " her calmness irritates me a bit.

Why isn't she mad at me? Why isn't she upset or disappointed? I mean she can't have kids of her own and I basically ruin the other change she got at being a mother since I never let her be that for me.

"Did you regret it?" I ask.

"No, never!" she says loudly as she shakes her head almost offended by my question.

"But why not? I never let you be a mother to me, " I say in a slightly higher tone as Mia place her hand on my thigh trying to calm me down. I took her hand in mind giving it a squeeze.

"You're wrong on that one Axel. I am your mum even though you might not think that you let me, I am. When you first came home with me even though you never spoke to me a lot and as you grow older you got more and more distant and harsh I was taking care of you and loving you. I always used to put you to bed and wake you up to go to school. I was packing your lunch and driving you to and from school. I was taking you to the doctors and dentist whenever it was needed. I helped you with your homework even though you weren't saying a word to me and afterwards you were telling me to get out. I was cooking food and tidying your room. I love you like my son. It never bothered me that you didn't feel the same way towards me. It never bothered me that you never spoke to me more than a few words. It never bothered me that you kept me at a distance. I knew that when I adopted you, you had come out of a bad household so I wasn't expecting much from you. I knew what I was getting into the moment I adopted you. I was prepared for this, " she speaks with so much passion as if she is getting off her chest things she wanted to say for years now.

"You were too nice, " I say after a few minutes have gone by in silence. Only our forks and plates making a sound.

"What?"

"My problem with you was that I felt a lot of the times that you were trying too hard. You were too nice, too happy to speak to me, too caring. It felt like an act to me. It felt as if you were pretending rather than actually caring about me. That was my problem with you. The other thing that keeps me at a distance from you it's myself. When your image on parents gets scar too deeply, you lose all hope. It's very difficult to see the good in other possible parental figures. That's what I wanted to say to you and if Mia wasn't here, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I'm happy that we got to talk though, " Mia brushes her thumb against my finger and gives me one of her biggest smiles when I turn my head to the side.

"I'm so glad that you finally open up even just a little bit to me after so many years. I don't want you though to feel pressure to do so. Take your time. It's not like I'm going anywhere and thank you, Mia, it was really sweet of you to bring us together for this dinner, " Rebecca smiles at Mia and just like that were are back to eating and making small talk.

To me though it feels like we're back to square one.

A/N

Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

How do you feel about this chapter?

Rebecca and Axel finally had a decent talk and got a bit closer.

What do you think about Rebecca now?

Feel free to comment & vote! ❤️

Have a nice day and night! Xx

Stay safe & stay strong!

All the love - M ❤️