Axel

Chapter 68

MIA'S P.O.V

14 days 6 hours and approximately 24 minutes have passed since I last saw Axel.

14 days since he said that he's giving up on us.

14 days since he didn't try stopping me from walking away from him.

14 days since he broke my heart into tiny pieces.

I never wanted him to feel pressure to get in a relationship with me immediately after I broke up with Carter. I didn't expect us to get in a relationship right after anyway. We could've dated as normal single people do and then when he was ready we could have taken a step further. Now though, that seems like a far away fantasy.

This behaviour of his cause some doubts in my mind. I don't know if I can trust him right now. Trust that in difficult moments he won't just leave and come back whenever he feels like it.

What about how I feel?

I spent months talking to him about how relationships should be and the key things that it needs to work.

It looks like he didn't learn much.

I want him to be comfortable enough with talking about his feelings with me. He's not alone anymore and he doesn't have to figure things on his own all the time. I understand that all this is unknown territory to him but... I gave him time. I haven't bothered him or text him or anything.

Nadia told me to give him more time and that he'll come back eventually but when is that eventually? No one knows not even him. I know how it is to overthink things and take a tremendous amount of time to make a decision.

I did it with Carter and Axel and I regretted it.

I don't think that I and Axel will go back to how we were from the get-go, that's if we do get back in the first place. It will take us some time because now I'm unsure about him. I think this was one of the things that trouble me with Axel from the beginning. How unsure I am about where this is going to end between us.

Regardless though, I fell for him and I fell headfirst.

I love Axel and I think I still want a future with him. I can only have hope that it would work out between us but they're not high let me tell you that.

My phone buzzes next to me making me flinch.
"Jesus, " I mutter under my breath.

Gripping my phone it almost falls and hits me right on my nose from the name I saw written across the screen. Well, speak of the devil and he shall text you.

"Hey I-can you meet me at my foster mum's house I'll text you the address if you don't remember. I know we need to talk and sorry for not reaching out sooner I hope there is still hope for us. I love you."

I love you. Damn you, Axel!

I shake my head and leave him or read for a bit trying to think about how I'll word my answer. Picking my phone back I start typing:

"Hi, okay text me the address and I'll come by tonight at around 8, is that okay?"

I decided to skip the I love you part.

"Yeah that sounds good, I'll see you tonight"

"See you."

Time seems to be going by extra slow today. One hour feels like 4. I feel like I'm slowly dying from how anxious I'm getting.

I am not sure what to expect. I think that I might go bat shit crazy on him. I feel like I'm going to let all my frustration out. I'm not sure I want to do that though. The last thing we need tonight is to argue.