Custody War

Chapter 45

Essence 
 
After a while Kendric and I pull apart, going back he sits down beside Lucas.
 
“Daddy, why don’t I have a family like everybody else?” Kendric questions with sadness in his voice.
 
“What are you talking about, you have a regular family. You have a mommy and daddy, grandparents, an aunt, uncles, and a godmother. What are you missing in your family that others have?”
 
“Why don’t you and Ms. Essence get married to make everything better and I will have parents that are together.”
 
Locking eyes with Lucas I answer, “Kendric, just because me and your dad are not together, and we won’t live together it doesn’t mean we are not a family.”
 
“Granddaddy and grandma live together, they are married, so why can’t yall get married so we can be a real family? Do yall even love each other?”
 
“Kendric, listen to me, me, you, and your mom are a family. No, we will not be getting married, but that does not mean we do not love you. Yes, I love your mom, I love her for being your mom, for being a great friend, but I can’t marry your mom on those things alone. We haven’t even ever gone out on a date. No matter who your mom or I end up with, we will always be your parents.”
 
“Then why don’t you ask Ms. Essence to go on a date daddy?”
 
“It’s not that easy son.”
 
“Why no daddy?”
 
“What else do you have questions about, Kendric?”
 
“Will, you and Ms. Essence give me a baby brother or sister?” 

"Kendric,"
 
“Yes, daddy.” He says with a smile on his face.
 
“How about we make something for dinner so you can get ready for bed.”
 
“Yes sir.”
 
“Ask your mom if she would like to help.”
 
Kendric begins walking towards me then turns back walking to Lucas. Looking at him with confusion.
 
“Daddy,” He says with sadness in his voice as he continues, “I don’t know what to call Ms. Essence.”  He drops his head as a few tears escape his eyes.
 
“Kendric,” I say going over to him kneeling in front of him, “You call me what you feel comfortable calling me. If you want to continue calling me Ms. Essence, that is fine with me.”
 
“You won’t be mad or upset with me?”
 
“No, sweetheart I won’t be mad or upset with you. I know you trying to process all of this and understand it, and truthfully your dad and I don’t fully understand it. All you need to know is we love you, we are your parents, and we will do what we can to help you figure everything out while we do the same.”
 
“Are you going to live with me and daddy, Ms. Essence?”
 
“No, I am not, however, I will be close by here. If it is okay with your dad I would like to come over after school to spend time with you.”
 
“That is fine with. Our family may not be ideal, but it is our family.”
 
“Daddy what if something happens to Ms. Essence?”
 
“Son, I can promise you this, I will never let anything happen to you or your mom. You both are my priority and my responsibility. I will protect you and your mom with everything in me.”
 
“Daddy, you sure you don’t want to marry Ms. Essence.”
 
Lucas and I laugh at Kendric.
 
“Ms. Essence, would you like to cook with me and daddy?”
 
“I would love to,” replying with a smile.
 
As we are walking down the steps Kendric spoke, “what are we having for dinner?”
 
“We will have to see what is in the kitchen.” Lucas states.
 
After dinner and cleaning up the kitchen Kendric sad.
 

“Kendric, are you alright?” questioning him full of concern.
 
 “I just want a normal family and I can’t have one, and that hurts.” He says taking off running.
 
“We shouldn’t have told him,” I say to Lucas.
 
Sitting in front of me Lucas takes my hand in his, “he needed to know. This is a lot for him, he doesn’t fully understand. We just need to help him through this. It will be hard, but we can do it as long as we do it together.”
 
Countering back, “Lucas”
 
“Essence, neither of us have grasped what happened. Kendric just found out and he will be struggling with this information for a little while. Long as   we are in this together and help him with this transition, we will grow stronger as a family.”
 
“This situation is not easy for any of us.”
 
“He needed to know, we waited too long as it is, and that’s my fault, I take full responsibility for that. I shouldn’t have kept you and Kendric apart the way I did. In a way, I am guilty of being like your parents.”
 
“You are nothing like those animals don’t ever compare yourself to them. You did what you did because you are his father, and you love him. C’mon, let’s go talk with our son about why he feels he cannot have a normal family.”
 
Stopping at Kendric’s door Lucas and I lock eyes as he took my hand in his opening the door with his free hand. Walking in we see Kendric laying on his bed with a tear-stained face.
 
“Kendric,”
 
“I know what you are going to say, you have a normal family. What is normal about any of this? I used to make cards because for you and mail them to heaven because daddy always told me that’s where you were. Kids would always ask me where my mom is, and why doesn’t she come around, some teachers have asks that too. When I tell them she died having me some say mean, hateful things to me.”
 
“Kendric, what are you talking about and why didn’t you tell me?”
 
“They would say she didn’t want you, so she killed herself, or you are so ugly she chose death than to be your mom, or what is it like to know you killed your mom, saying Kendric is a mom killer.” He says crying laying on Lucas.
 
“Kendric, why didn’t you tell me?”
 
“It’s not all kids and then Mrs. Thurman says kids will be kids and ignore them.”
 
“We are going to talk with her,” I say in response.
 
“You did not kill your mom, Kendric. She is right here. I was told your mom died having you and what would I tell you.”
 
“You said she loves you so much that’s why she gave her last breath and life to have me.”
 
“I am sorry I didn’t tell you when I found out and it took me so long. I was scared I was going to lose you and I didn’t want to. You’re my son, I love you, but I was wrong.” 
 
“Am I wrong for not knowing how to feel daddy?”
 
“Kendric, can I talk to you?”
 
“Yes ma’am,” he says looking at me.
 
“Until this very moment I don’t think your dad, nor I knew just how much my “absence” affected you. When I came, I only thought about my feelings and want you back in life not caring about anything else. I deeply apologize for my actions. All I want is to be a part of your life even as a friend. Your dad and I are going to do what is best for you because we love you.”
 
Nodding his head in a yes motion, he wrapped his small arms around me. Looking back at Lucas Kendric spoke,
 
“Daddy can me and Ms. Essence sleep in your bed tonight? Please!”
 
“I don’t see why not,” Lucas states with a smile.
 
After Kendric got a bath and I took a shower, I went into Lucas’s bedroom.
 
“Y’all ready for bed?” Lucas asks.
 
“Yes sir. Daddy can Ms. Essence sleep in the middle so we can protect her so nothing else happens to her?”
 
Lucas has an unreadable expression on his face.
 
“I don’t see why she can’t.” He says looking at me.
 
“Good night daddy, good night, Ms. Essence,” Kendric says kissing us on my cheek.
 
Getting in bed behind Kendric, Lucas got in bed behind me sliding his arm around my waist.
 
“I got you,” he whispers as we drift off to sleep.
 
 
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