Custody War

Chapter 4

 
E

ssence
 
Two months later 
 
Laying in bed trying to silence the pain and terrors which embodies me. The silence was broken when I heard a knock at the door. Remaining silent the open revealing my mother.
 
“Good morning sweetheart, how are you feeling?”
 
“Just leave me alone.” Turning away from her, I tried blocking everything out.
 
“Essence” She spoke my name softly.
 
Responding in an aggravated tone, “don’t worry soon as I graduate high school I am out of here. Just go and please leave me by myself.”
 
Listening to her sigh, she stated, “Andre will be up here with breakfast soon. Make sure you eat something. I love you, Essence.”
 
Hearing the door close, I let out a deep breath as I heard a soft knock on the door. Before I could say anything, Andre was in my room.
“Good m-“
 
Rushing to the bathroom everything I ate came up. After getting sick, I sat back against the wall as the feeling of dizziness begin to settle in me.
 
“Essence, you alright?”
 
Before answering the foul taste rose in my mouth again as I got sick once more.
 
Andre must have noticed me not able to get, he came picked me up took me to the bed.
 
Sitting down beside me, the look of worry evident all on his face. “Baby sis,”
 
“Dre I’m fine, I’ll be okay. Maybe it was just something I ate yesterday.”  
 
“You sure?”
 
“Yeah, I’m going to lay down for a little while and my stomach will settle.”
 
Putting a small smile on face Andre spoke softly, “I'm going get you a sprite or 7up, it will help settle your stomach.”
 
Returning the smile, I replied, “thank you, Dre.”
 
Getting comfortable in the bed once Andre left horror slowly begin creeping up in my mind from a few months ago. Thinking back, the realization set in. Not talking to no one the words slipped out, ‘I haven’t had my period in a few months.’
 
Quickly getting out of bed ignoring everything else inside of me, I went to the bathroom taken a shower. Hoping the warm water will relax me, but it did not work. Anxiety filled my body and the worse thoughts continued to play in my mind.
 
After getting dressed, I crept downstairs making sure no one saw or heard me. Once I was in the clear I snuck out of the house. Instead of going to the local corner store, I went to the Walgreens near my house.
 
Walking into the store I pulled the hood up on my head hoping to disguise myself. Promptly going over to the where the pregnancy test is, praying the worse has not happened.
 
Grabbing three tests, I paid for them and went back home. Sneaking back in I rushed to my room. Hiding the tests, dread took over.
 
Knowing I could not put the inevitable any longer, I took the tests. While waiting for the results, I decided to delete all my social media accounts.
 
The timer went off on my phone indicating it was time to check the results. Taken several deeps breathes, looking down at all three tests. All had the same result.
 
Tears escaped my eyes as my left hand instantly went to my stomach.
 
Options begin to weigh heavily on my mind trying to figure out what is the best outcome.
 
Knowing, I could not go through with an abortion nor giving the child up for adoption, I knew what I was going to do.
 
Laying on the deep in thought when I heard my name begin called on the other side of my bedroom door by my father.
 
Ignoring him, getting comfortable in bed I heard the door open.
 
“How are you feeling?”
 
Closing my eyes hoping, he would think I am sleeping and leave, but he came taken a seat on my bed.
 
“Essence, I don’t know where to start or even how to. I failed you.” My father said as he kissed my forehead.
 
After he left out my room my hand went to my stomach again as I spoke to my unborn child, “I won’t give you the ‘love’ my parents are giving me.”
 
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