A YEAR WITH THE BILLIONAIRE

CHAPTER 18

Jayden's POV

The water washes through me as I stand under the shower with my eyes tightly closed, the memories come rushing making me tighten my fist in frustration.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Getting married to someone else apart from Helena was not part of the plan. I never thought I would ever do a thing like this. 

But here I am, married to a woman who isn't Helena. I am married to someone I don't feel any atom of tenderness or affection for.

Can life be any better? Can my guilt be lessened with this?

Of course not! 

I am already feeling the heightened effect of my guilt. I promised to remain faithful to her forever and now this.

I have broken the vow once again. I have broken the promise I made to her. The first was never to go back into the Mafia business and I have been doing that successfully. The second promise I made after she died was for me to remain faithful to her even in death.

Helena won't be happy with me. She would be sad. And angry. 

I betrayed her once. I have betrayed her again and it hurts like shit.

I am doing this for Mother. If I had another alternative to please her, I would have done that without getting married. 

Mother isn't the only one who was extremely happy about the wedding. Father was all smiling too and it made me smile to see them happy, even though deep down, I am feeling nothing but emptiness and guilt.

The memories are back now and I doubt if I can get some sleep tonight.

After the church wedding, there was a reception in Father's mansion. I didn't want to have a reception but Mother insisted on having it in the house. I had no choice but to succumb to their wishes.

I find it very hard to pretend and smiling at my bride while we are on the dance floor is hard.

Isabella is a beautiful bride and I feel bad for doing this to her. She deserves better. 

She deserves a better man who doesn't have a past that keeps haunting him. She deserves a man who can love and adore her, not someone like me who is using her for my advantage.

She was watching me all through, probably expecting me to smile just like she was doing. No one would have known that she was pretending and this marriage isn't real.

She asked us to do a quiet wedding but I didn't want that at first because I needed the news to get to the press and the shareholders of the company. They will accord me respect that way. 

A few days into the wedding, I decided to give in to her demands. She ought to have a say in our wedding plans. 

This doesn't need to get to the press. A few of the shareholders and business clients were invited. I was even surprised to see some people I didn't invite personally. Mother must have done that. She insisted on having an elaborate wedding but I said a loud "No" to that.