A YEAR WITH THE BILLIONAIRE

CHAPTER 77

Jayden's POV

Seeing her in lingerie makes the resolve to speak to her about what happened in Italy disappear into thin air.

Instead, my heartbeat increases and a lump gets stuck in my throat as I watch her approach, making me speechless.

I had a bad day and it has been making me think about all that happened in Italy and how she confessed her love for me.

I feel guilty. I feel remorseful for putting her into this situation and I want to remedy it before it is too late.

Isabella accused me of using her even before we had sex and now that we already had sex, I am beginning to think that she is right.

A relationship between us can't be possible. She needs to leave after a year.

I didn't give much thought to all of this till we landed in New York this morning and I realize that keeping her is part of using her.

I shouldn't cage her here. I shouldn't give her the thought that something more could happen between us. I don't want her to expect too much from me and then I will end up disappointing and hurting her.

Love is definitely a strong word. I know I am sexually attracted to her. 

The explanation I gave to myself when I kept asking myself why I had sex with her was that she was there when I needed a woman. I have been celibate for too long and I shouldn't forget the reason for my celibacy.

Not when Helena is still showing up in my dreams.

This time, she has an expression devoid of emotions and not a crying or smiling face. 

Isabella and I slept in each other's arms last night and I had a dream of Helena not smiling or crying. I don't know what to make of that but it definitely isn't a good sign.

It must probably be a reminder for me to get back on track and not ruin Isabella's life. She is only here to help me not to get broken along with me.

"How was your day?" Her hands are around my head in an embrace as her minty breath fans my face, compelling me to take her pink sweet lips which I can't possibly get enough of.

I should get enough of it. Having this kind of relationship isn't healthy for both of us. I am too broken to love another woman apart from Helena. Isabella loves me already but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the same because I know I don't feel the same way towards her.

I still love Helena and I can't love two women at a time.

I don't want to hurt Isabella. I should probably let her know how I feel. Our relationship should be a platonic one henceforth, not the usual real-couple thingy we have been doing for two nights in a row, having sex or sleeping in each other's arms.

I feel a throbbing in my trousers but I can't tell if it is because of the remembrance of the sex and how tight she was which drove me over the edge or because her hands are trailing my chest.