Heaven in Hell

RUFFLED!

ARJUN'S POV:

Just like last night, I wake up screaming at the burn from the cane on my thighs. I beg for the hits to stop until I realize that we are in the infirmary and not in SERE. Not again. Good lord, I just made a fool of myself one more time. I was already the weakest link and now I'm a coward pussy who can't take a few hits. They might as well just kick me out.

I avoid looking at anybody and seeing the disappointment on their faces and go back to sleep unconsciously rubbing my thighs. Of all the things that happened there, somehow I remember the only stupidest littlest thing that happened. It was mere minutes of trying to hold my body in splits and getting hits when I failed to do so. Worse things happened there and yet I go back to the one insignificant thing.

We got our minds played with, our bodies broken, starved and dehydrated and the only thing I have nightmares about are the hard hits on my already dying from split thighs. One stupid stress position. Not how Kyra sat there nonchalantly eating a bag of crunchy salted delicious chips while she watched me struggle in chair position starving for a bite. Not how I salivated at the sight of food and water. All I can revisit is hits to my thighs! It is official people - I'm the stupidest idiot born on this freaking galaxy.

I think tired of my stupidity, Agent Prescott kicked everybody out and I knew he was going to kick me out. I can't be kicked out. This place gives me the ability to use my talent for good cause. Out there, I'll be hunted by criminals to do their bidding and by government officials to be put behind bars. This is my safe heaven. I can't be kicked out after coming this far.

Before he can say anything, I take my chance, "Permission to speak freely, Sir". I can see him denying it and so I speak despite knowing the consequences, "Sir, please, I'll do anything you say. Anything to make you believe I deserve to be here. Don't kick me out. Please sir. I'll .. I'll work harder and and never repeat this umm.."

"Shut up. Attention" His words cut my pathetic begging and my hope too. Fuck man! I'm gone.

I jump up and stand in attention, sure that I failed to beg for a second chance.

"I'm not kicking you out. Being affected by something you went through is normal. We all live with our fears. The key is in learning to not lose sleep over it. And for that, you can talk to Dr. Darcy. She will help you through it."

What? He is not kicking me out. This is normal? Did I hit my head or did he just tell me to get help?

Before I can chuck this as another crazy dream I had, the fear makes me known how awake I am. "As for your offer, don't worry. You will prove to me that you not only deserve to be here but are also the right man for this upcoming mission. I don't take disappointments well. But before that, drop. I think you need a reminder on speaking without being permitted to"

I have never been more happy to do push-ups so I drop and start counting.

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SIDDHARTH'S POV:

We had barely recovered from the hellhole Chief had decided to name SERE. The terror and horror of such a training will leave you mentally screwed for days. Physically, we came out with a few cuts, bruises and blisters. Well, everybody except Arjun. Poor guy got the cane and that shit leaves scars! At night since then he has woken up clutching his thighs or screaming something before he fully wakes up to realize the surroundings. I wish we knew how to make it better. It is our job not to screw the kids for life and somehow in pushing his boundaries, I hope we did not push him too far.

After the third day of recovery, Agent Prescott kicks us all out while he and Arjun have a chat. I hope Arjun gets some coping mechanism and not just a workout to tame his mind. He has been thrown too soon in all this. If he does not learn to swim, he is bound to sink.