Fangirl | BTS

예순 하나 - एकसष्ट

For Gauravi, everything felt as if she was living in heaven right on Earth. Well, apart from Ben nagging at her but then again she was used to it. Other than that it was complete heaven, cute little calls, texts and those dates. She didn't knew that dating can make you feel like this. She only dated one guy all her past life and that was in high school. Dumb shit. After that it was waste of time for her, dating that guy proved that to her. She never tried dating after that until now. Just thinking about him makes her all giddy. 

"This is what he was talking about that time?" Gauravi muttered to herself thinking about the time when Ben had grabbed her ear dragged her away from her prey to straight home. He had given her nice, long lecture. 

"What do you think you are doing Gauravi?" Ben asked. No, Gaura, no babe. He is pissed. Gauravi thought averting her eyes as he settled down on couch in front of her. "This is what you have been doing?" He asked. 

"What do you mean?" Gauravi muttered still not meeting his eyes. "I was just enjoying myself until you dragged me away by my ear. So embarrassing."

"Enjoying yourself? This is how you are enjoy yourself? By sleeping around with anyone you find?" Gauravi looked up opening her mouth to retort back but flinched when she saw the look in his eyes. "What is aai gonna think when she finds out that her daughter has been sleeping around with anyone? What she's gonna feel? That she lacked in raising her daughter. That she failed."

"She didn't!" Gauravi exclaimed. "What is wrong with sleeping around? It's better than wasting your time on single piece of shit! I rather sleep around than waste time on something so meaning less!" She snapped clenching her fist. She didn't want to turn out like her mother! Waste time on someone so useless, who didn't care one ounce of anyone but himself! She knew how it would end, in a room alone crying to death. I would save myself from that pain.

"Gaura..." Ben stood up walking towards her, he came to stop in front of her. Kneeling down he took her hands in his. Rubbing circles with his thumb he smiled sadly. He knew why was she doing this, he knew her reasons but couldn't let her destroy her life like this not in front of him. "It not always gonna be like that. You know someday you are going to meet someone. Someone who'll make you feel all giddy and warm. Someone to whom you will be ready to give up everything. You'll feel like you are living in heaven. Everything will feel like first with them."

"You know you are describing fiction shit here." She rolled her eyes. Ben laughed shaking his head.

"Maybe I am." He chuckled. "But you know saying that it is waste of time is like saying aai was wrong all her life. From loving a man to bringing their love in this world. From fighting back to, raising you to be independent woman. Is that what you are saying Gaura?" Gauravi stared at him before averting her eyes. "Aai forgave him Gaura because she understood that people change, she knew blaming him would do nothing. She overcame it but that doesn't mean that it was waste of her time. Their love was real. You are the proof of that." Ben smiled holding her chin to turn it to face him. "If you ask me, what you are doing right now is waste of time." 

"Hey what are you thinking about?" Ben plopped down beside making her turn and smile. "Huh? What got you smiling like this?" He asked throwing his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close.

"Nothing, it's just I was thinking about that time. When you told me that it was not waste of time." Gauravi replied leaning her head on his shoulder. "I think I understand it now." She smiled. 

"You do?" Ben asked holding her close leaning his head in hers.

"I thought you were shitting about all those feeling but I really feel those, warm, giddy." She said. "I really feel like I am living in heaven." Ben laughed and placed a kiss on her head.