Losing control

Matt

To say Matt is nervous about joining the team and also finding out Reid gets reinstated at the same time would be an understatement. The moment he sees him standing in the conference room his blood went cold. He doesn't even know why. Rationally he knows what happened wasn't his fault but all he could think off was Garcias panicked face when he didn't wake up or the colour draining from Luke's face when he told him. They were all still so vulnerable when he had to pass the message along. Stephen had just died, they only got Spencer back for a day and on top of that Emily had been kidnapped and most of them were hurt in a car accidents.

"Can I take this?" He asks shyly when Spencer picks up his go-bag.

"Oh no I am good but thank you. How is your wife doing? I am sure she is happy to have your around more." Reid starts a conversation as they walk to the elevator with the others.

"She is and the kids even more."

"Four kid's must be hell lot of work. Morgan only got one and I was stressed out after only watching him taking care of Hank for a few days."

"Remind him to not get more than one." JJ says.

"He always wanted two." Spencer says. "I still think that's the goal for him."

"Doesn't he have already two?" Rossi asks looking at Reid who looks at him confused while the others got the joke. Matt could feel himself relax a little bit more around him and then it happens. They get out of the cars as they arrive at the precinct when Spencer holds onto his open door, holding his head for a moment. Quickly Emily grabs him before Matt gets there helping him lay down.

"Steady pulse. Everything is fine." Emily says while the others get out of the other SUV worryingly looking at Spencer.

"I- I-"

"Yeah,go." Emily encourages Matt giving Rossi a signal to follow him. He follows him around the precinct where Spencer isn't in Matt's eyesight anymore.

"Are you okay?" Rossi asks making Matt flinch. "Sorry I didn't mean to scare you."

"Its fine. Yeah I am okay."

"You will have to get used to it,we all had to."

"I know, I just- You know what happened the last time." Matt said.

"And that was not your fault. The kid had just gotten out of prison he was under extreme stress in there and afterwards. That was meant to happen and he can be glad it was with you present." Matt doesn't seem to convinced so he went on. "I remember I had known him for a couple years back then and we were at a poker game. I had taken him with me too annoy some of the people there because you really can't win against him and then he went to the bathroom and I was drunk and enjoying myself. I didn't realize he hadn't come back till half an hour later and I went there and the kid was laying on the floor, breathing and having a pulse but on the way there I thought I would open that bathroom door and he would be laying there in his own blood. And we all had this moments but we can't let them take over because then we will only see that when we look at him and miss all the good."