Starman | BTS 8th Member | *ੈ✩‧₊˚(editing)

74.

It was literally 11 pm so everyone was in their rooms probably sleeping.

I suddenly felt empty, like something was missing. I also felt lonely, which surprised me. I never counted myself as someone who loved people. But I do depend on them alot more than I originally thought.

I guess it's nice to have someone with you after all.

I bit the inside of my cheek thinking about the conversation over and over again. What hurt the most was how he didn't seem to feel remorse of any kind. His facial expression stayed the same.

"soulmates my ass" was something especially painful as well. The soulmates thing was a joke. So it hurt even more that he was using it against me.

But I was also confused as his complaints didn't make sense. They were all conflicting.

I obviously wasn't doing something right.

I bit my cheek more, feeling more and more empty. But then I tasted metal and I gagged. I had

I had bit my cheek so much I started bleeding.

"ow-" i cupped my cheek, the metal taste of blood filling my mouth.

I sighed, dragging myself to the kitchen to get a drink.

When i go to the dentist it's going to be embarrassing. I bite the inside of my cheek so much i know there's going to be scarring .

Jeewoo has the same habit and was berated by the dentist there. He threatened to make his teeth into a bracelet so jeewoo has been pretty fearful of the dentist ever since.

Upon using the taps, I was so distracted the water sprayed everywhere made me shrieked and I recoiled.

I then remembered that most people, like soon to be birthday boy jin, were asleep so i clamped my hand over my mouth rather quickly. I thumbled with my shirt trying to dry it. I gave up, but i still had to live with a soggy sleeve...

I started to jump up, trying to get my favorite cup. It was green. All you need to know is basic knowledge about me to figure why i like it so much. I got it after my fourth try. I was proud for a split second that I actually got it, a mid air celebration. but it faded away when I felt my slippers slip on the water I had failed to recognise as a hazard.

I was on the floor. Great. Wow I am so close to ending it all after this day it is unbelievable. My ears were ringing slightly.

The cup had smashed of course. What would be the point of me tripping if it didn't break.

My chin had hit the floor with so much force I saw stars, this is what i suspect caused the ringing.

I am so done with my life at this point. I let go of the rest of the glass, the shards surprisingly not cutting me. Sadness about breaking my favorite glass now joined the argument with hoseok and i lay on the floor staring at them. Tears in my eyes. My favorite cup. Reduced to shards.

They were big pieces anyway. Maybe I could fix it? A bit of glue...?

I sat up putting my head in my hands. Can't escape failure. I laughed, it hurt to do so as my chest took part in the fall. If i dont laugh ill cry.

"Well that's embarrassing'' I wheezed. Shaking my head. I could feel more tears in my eyes, the aching in my throat as I tried desperately not to give in to the now overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry.

"you idiot" now that definitely wasn't a voice in my head. I looked up to see hoseok standing there. His face was unreadable. He stood there, quiet sinister, so sinister that i moved the shards of glass out of sight, just in case he wanted to murder me.