Loving Merritt Forever

12

Her

Something was wrong with me. I was never like this. My head was all floaty, full of dreams and fantasies of being with Levi. I owed so many people apologies. Rebound relationship feelings were overwhelming. I was trying to remember how I felt with David as Levi drove us back to the city. Had I felt anything close to this with him? Never, I was sure of it. Levi was like a drug.

The silence in the car was peaceful as he watched the road and I watched the night sky's magical lights fade and the glow of the city drowned them out. It was like David had been wiped from my mind. Like I had never really felt anything for him. Certainly nothing like the feelings Levi was igniting in me.

His hand was on my thigh, I desperately wished Levi would do more, I wanted him to take control, to own my body and bend it into twisted pleasure. I had never been like this before. No actor in any movie had stirred these thoughts in me, no romance novel, none of the two boys I dated before David, Not the one girl I thought I liked, and certainly not David himself. I had almost thought that I was asexual. That maybe my desire to wait for my husband was just a front to hide from the truth. That I might never really want sex from anyone.

That theory was dead. I was definetly sexual, just only with Levi. The more time I spent with him the more I was drawn to him. A moth to a flame. I had already been burned and humiliated, I had nothing left to lose now. The more time I spent with Levi, the safer I felt. He made me feel cared for in a way that was everything I had wanted my whole life. The way he was making me feel was dangerous, because I wasn't sure I would ever be able to move on from him.

We arrived back in front of the hotel. He had to let go of my thigh to maneuver the car through the drop off curb. "Levi," I sounded breathy and quiet. "Come up with me?" I looked at his face, unable to read his expression. "Please?" I was begging. I couldn't help myself, my entire body was screaming at me that I needed him, that I would combust if he didn't touch me like he did in my dreams.

I felt the lurch as he slammed the emergency brake on, bringing the car to a sudden stop. Removing the keys and handing them to a waiting valet, with instructions that his own drivers would be here in moments to take the car. Sure enough, by the time he walked to my door, a man came, Levi nodded at him and the valet handed the keys to the newcomer. Levi didn't look back, taking me by the hand and leading me to the elevators.

We were alone in the elevator, I wanted to throw myself at him. For him to hold me in his arms, undoing his fly with one hand, removing his cock before roughly shoving my panties out of the way. Watching in the mirrored walls of the elevator as he lowered my body onto his cock until he was fully buried inside me.

"The things I want to do to you Merritt" He whispered in my ear, like he knew I was just thinking of how it might feel if he were to fuck me in this elevator. He tucked my long hair behind my ear, so I could feel his breath on my skin.

We made it back to the hotel room that was my home. I fumbled with my bag while Levi stood behind me, pressed close, his hands skimming up and down my sides. I let my head lull back, his lips were on my throat, kissing a path down and along my shoulder while I tried to get the key card in the slot. I heard the dull beep letting me know I had succeeded and pulled the door lever down as Levi swept me into his arms, pinning me against the wall just inside the private suite as the door clicked shut behind us.

His body pressed against mine, holding me flat against the wall. One hand along my jaw and cheek, as he angled me to better claim my mouth with his. I heard a moan before I realized it was coming from me as my head swam with how good this felt. How right. He broke the kiss, pulling back, looking at me like he was worried he had hurt me. Done too much. When it hadn't been nearly enough at all.

"I need you." I heard myself say. Wondering who I was now. This wasn't anything like I normally was. I didn't have that much wine with dinner, and that had been hours ago. I should be mostly sober, but I felt high on my want for Levi.

Levi's hands went down my back to firmly hold the curves of my behind in his hands. He drew me closer, and instinctively I jumped into his arms. He easily caught me. Holding me against him. Stumbling us over to the bed as he kicked off his shoes and mine dropped from my feet as we crossed the carpeted suite.

Gently and with care I was sat down on the edge of the bed. Levi quickly throwing away his jacket that was still around my shoulders, his own shirt soon followed. He was like a god carved in marble. My breath hitched in my throat as I looked at the muscular planes of his body. My heart skipped a beat as I looked into Levi's eyes, the way he was looking at me, eyes smoldering like it was taking all his self restraint to hold back from ravishing me.

I didn't want him to hold back, I wanted to be ravished. I didn't know how to tell him. How to ask for what I needed now. I felt like a startled deer caught in bright headlights. Unable to move or react. Frozen under his searing gaze.

"Tell me what you want Merritt." his voice a husky growl, making my panties grow even more damp at the apex of my thighs.

"You," I gasped as his still cool hand started to slide the zipper of my dress down my back with one hand, while the other moved the fabric off my shoulder, his mouth pressing small kisses down my neck and along the freshly uncovered skin. "I want you to-" my words froze in my throat. I had to tell him, before this went any farther.

I knew how he would react, he would tell me he wasn't interested anymore, he would leave me. His lips were on my lips, focusing my brain back on him and not my own insecurities. "We only do what you want Merritt, you are in control love." a delicate nip of teeth at the juncture of my neck and shoulder made something twist deep in my belly. Feeling like a coiled snake ready to strike. "I want you to, fuck,." I rushed the words, "Its my first time," unable to hold the secret in any longer, unable to look at him. Waiting for him to walk away.

The look he gave me sucked all the air out of the room. I couldn't breathe, not while he was looking at me like that. My dress had been pushed off my shoulders, now bunched around my belly, hem hitched up my thighs from how I had been trying to grind against him when he kissed me while holding me. Not daring to breathe I sat there, exposed, in my bra, one of the surgical scars I still hadn't explained to him out in the open. Vulnerable, waiting for the crushing rejection I knew was coming.

No one wanted a fumbling, emotional virgin for a fling.