STEPPING OUT

Chapter 19

🎶If you give a little more than you take

And if you try to fix more than you break.. 🎶

Hearing this song coming from the hearse suddenly makes ne feel weak. Why did I do my makeup when I know that I am going to be cry through the entire service, after service, at home and forever more because my special person is no longer here with me.

🎶If you're the kind who takes the time

To help a stranger in the rain

There's a place for people like you🎶

I won't hear her miserable voice cursing me about being Ackeem and I miss hearing it so much. For the past month since she has gone, I can't eat, sleep or go to work. My world is so dark even in the bright sunny day. At night I feel this emptiness in my heart, Brandon and I sleep in her room every night just to feel that void fill in but it just leave us empty. Shauna cried so much when she heard the news but she couldn't risk not going back overseas to come and see her mother being put down in the grave.

I know if I was at the end of the world, I wouldn't miss my mother's funeral but I don't know why I am surprise. Everyone stand in the church yard looking out for the hearse, we could hear it coming from afar but it is not in view as yet. I look over at Brandon who's trying to keep it together, knowing that any moment now he's going to break down and so will I.

🎶I've heard up there the streets are made of gold

And when you get there, there's a hand to hold

I believe when your days down here are through

There's a place up there for people like you....🎶

Looking at the white hearse turning the corner to come up at the church, my tears starts to drop and there is nothing that my dark glasses can do to contain them.

Ackeem pull me into his arms but that comfort just didn't do any good. I need my mother back and seeing the clear, gold and white cart coming in view with her gold and white casket send me to the ground with dirty eating on my black dress.

"Mummy!" I cry out, Ackeem try to hold me firmly but I keep shaking out of his hand to go get my mother from that casket.

"Hush B, yuh cah guh deh so" he hold on to me but I wouldn't listen.

"Mi wah back mi mada.. God please send her back... MUMMY!!!" I cry some more kicking and behaving badly in Ackeems hand.

"Hush Kayla, mine yuh hurt yu self" Monique says, trying to help Ackeem hold me. "Prezii hold her up mek tek off her heels becaz she ago pop her foot dem in a eh" she then said to Ackeem.

"Monique mi wah mi mada back!" I scream, stomping the ground or so she couldn't get a chance to remove my heels.

I could hear Brandon from a distance as well, I thought I could keep it together but not after seeing the hearse. The pain is so unbearable, that's my mother, she have been here for my whole life and she just got ripped way from me by a stupid heart attack, that's not fair.

"Mi juss wah see mi mada, ackeem please let me go" I starts to get defendless and weak. "Mi promise fi behave once me see her please Ackeem... Mummy gone lef mi Ackeem" I cry looking up on him.

"Sorry baby, come we go in a the church" He dry my tears.

"Dem ago open up the casket now fi viewing" Shantel run over to me.

When we get inside of the Church, I see aunty Michelle and Tamara looking at her in the casket. Aunt Mitchell burst out into tears which have her husband rushing to hold her.