They deserve it all.

Chapter 16

I walk the King's halls, only guards are here so I can breathe, but I still need flex my abdomen muscles just so my pressing and punching hand won't hurt me. I go to one of the guards who saw me with the King and request he bring me to my chambers. He nods and leads me up to what used to be my floor ... what still is my floor.

I thank him and dismiss him, when I do, I look around in the Hall with now empty walls. Walls that used to be decorated with all I did and all I'd do. All of these rooms on the sides of the Hall are all empty ... all mine. I actually gasp when I realize that one room is filled with all my trophies, there is no bed, only my trophies floating in the air with my pictures of me winning it floating below or above it. It's surrounding the walls, organized by age and purpose. They look clean, freshly dusted, and so does the other room, with all my certificates and medals. And they might be out of sight, but not out of mind, and that feels nice to know.

I stop walking as something punches me repeatedly in my stomach, making me clench my jaw and try my best not to groan. It feels like somethings stabs me and all I see is red, all I see is red as I walk the halls, I see nothing else and I have to fight with myself to actually not do anything weird. All I have to do is stop, I just need to stop it, I need to stop it.

Stop it!

Stop what?

Stop what?!

I am bleeding ... I am bleeding. I have to stop. I need to stop. Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop!

"Stop!"

The guards whip their heads to me, ready to ask me what's wrong.

I smile at them, awkwardly and pathetically. "It's nothing, just ... cramps."

No. No I won't stop.

It's my first day back, please, just leave me alone!

I can't stop, you need to acknowledge me, you shouldn't be ashamed of me! You just need to calm down.

Not now, Willow, I can hurt people, but I really don't want to, I do, but I don't, really I don't.

I feel her presence as I walk the halls, her shadow overlapping with mine, her dress, my dress, flowing together like rivers into the ocean.

Leave me alone, I whisper frustrated.

But why? She says back. I'm your friend, aren't I? I just want to help you.

I don't say anything to her, I ignore my shadow until I see my chambers at the end of this incredibly long and insufferable Hall.

Don't worry so much, I won't do anything.

Liar, you're a liar, if you wouldn't do anything, then why even be here.

I nod as I hold my chin up a little and the guards make eye contact before opening my chambers. Then I force a smile and turn to one guard.

"Would you mind to go and ask around for a man named Larien, he must still be waiting at the entrance, he's a loyal servant of mine."

I wouldn't ruin your first day, that's all up to you. And I'm only here because of you. You're scared and overwhelmed, and that's okay, but it does kinda make me appear. I am only here to have you calm down before something happens, and to not make something happen you have to acknowledge me.

The guard nods and leaves after I thank him.

When I finally get in I rip my corset off, and try to keep myself calm, to not jump up, to give in.