They deserve it all.

Chapter 35

Hi, I hope you've been enjoying this until now :).
I just wanted to note that a new character will be introduced in this chapter and nothing else, hope you'll enjoy!

"Not today." I wave my father off, but he stands strong on his weak body, his hand slyly holding onto the edge of my desk.

"But this one you'll like, I'm certain of it."

"You said so last time as well." I shake my head again. "I already did it yesterday, no need to do it 2 days in a row."

He sighs loudly and takes my hand. "We don't have much time, Willow. Your coronation is in less than 2 moons, we need to hurry and find you a match."

"I said no!" I walk away from him and before I can reach the door he yells out my name. He can't run after me to stop me, but he can yell. No matter how much I tell myself that he has no more control over me, that he still is the man he was back then and that I grew up and moved on, he still, somehow someway owns a piece of me. He still holds at least one of the strings I thought I made my own.

"Listen." He says demanding, with the same voice he would always speak to me, the voice that would make shivers go over my spine. The only difference is that when I would flinch, he would say nothing, he would ignore or not even try to notice it. But he does now.

He sighs. "Just listen, okay?" He sits down in my desk chair and takes a deep breath before looking up at me. "You ... you need to. I trust you, yes? But others don't. The people and Nobles will be doubtful with a ..."

He hesitates and stops talking. I roll my eyes. "With a murderer on the throne. Yeah ... I got it."

He tries to speak again, but nothing actually useful falls out of his parted lips. "No- that's not what I meant to say! I just mean ... it's better if you have someone next to you, someone the people can look at. You've always told me you never wanted the attention I got, you said you wanted to do the work and ... what was it you said— to- to be the brains!" He stands up and reaches out to me. I make it easier for him and walk up to him and when I reach him, he grabs my hands and squeezes them in his. "This is your chance."

"No. Father, I have had enough of all these men telling me I look good and then jumping right to what they think should change in this Kingdom, not even asking me what I like or how our future, see how I said ours and not that of the Kingdom, would look like and what they like or what room they'd want in the Grand Castle all to themselves. Do they like gardening or forging or painting, maybe they'd like an infirmary all to themselves or an armory just for them. But no- they all have motives, some want change, others want power, most of them want revenge and to be better than others— you know what someone told me, they said they couldn't wait to have their own Royal Babies! As if!" I let my father sit down again. He's been getting sicker yet so obsessed with matching me to some Noble. And just how low would that be. I can't have my Royal reign be with a mere noble. I can't do that. "And I know I need to choose someone, but please keep in mind that I will also have to live the rest of my days with that person, so bear with me-"

"Ew." He says, disgusted. "Why would anyone say that."

"Beats me."

"I guess you're right." He comes up in front of me, ready to go and leave me alone as I so obviously asked him. "But I would like you to know I am proud of you and all that you have been going through for the people, it truly makes me happy to see you care so much."

I don't say anything, I just wait for him to stop being so nice.

It'll happen any moment now. He's just playing with you, don't fall for it.

I won't, he's just being manipulative.

He's good.

He is, isn't he.

Yep.

Yeah ...

Very good ...

I mean— he said it many times. He'd tell me he was proud of me.

Yeah, to keep you calm, or to make you happy or to say it in front of others.

But he said it, didn't he.

He did ... and he's saying it again.

Not to keep me calm and there is no one else.

To make you happy?

You think?

I don't know.

I don't either.

He's being nice though.

Maybe it's that thing people do when they're dying? Trying to make up for every wrong they have done in their life.

Is it working? Are you forgiving him?

I mean ... I'd like to say no ... but— yeah, I guess I can see it.

"I'll do it." I sigh. "But I want to sleep in, so put it for the evening, okay?"

He nods excitedly.

"Who is it?"

"Cillian of house Crion."

I remember that name ...

He begins to suggest things to wear so I could compliment him but I shoo him away and tell him to tell one of the servants.

"I'm too tired for this." I say and close the doors right in his face.

I lay down on my bed and I take a deep breath before closing my eyes and falling asleep.

A tall girl stands in front of me. I look up to make something out of her face, but it's smudged and blurry, so I fail.

"Who are you?" I ask softly.

"Who am I?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"Who ... am ... I?" She repeats in a sad, moving tragic voice. "I don't know who I am. I thought you'd know, it's why I'm here."

"I ... I'm sorry. I don't know who you are."

She holds onto my hand, smiles from what I can make out and pats me on my head. "Pretty girl," She looks at me, her head tilting. "Pretty girl, indeed."

She sighs, I watch her. We are silent.

"You ruined their lives." She says softly, wiping any bit of curiosity off of my face. "You know that, right?"

"Why ... would you say that?"

"Well- I don't know." The same confusion heard in her voice. So she shrugs and it's quiet again, until it's not. "It's what I needed to say. I was just sent here, I think." She makes an odd noise, something between a chuckle and a scoff. She moves closer in and whispers in my ear, her long fluffy hair brushing my nose and says with a dramatic confused voice, "I'm just the messenger."

She fades away, an itching feeling on my nose is the only she leaves— a paper, a piece of ripped off paper, a poorly written poem. I look closer at it, then open it.I lost my life to this daftly fruitless war,As aware as I am of the green that'll be once more,At times I find myself wishing,That your love for me had never gone missing.

It's written in red ink.

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-Love, me :)