They deserve it all.

Chapter 48

Note: Hi, umh, if you've made it this far you might notice a difference in the next few chapters. I still wrote them, not that someone else wrote them, but they'll be different because I had a little phase when writing this. I was a little down, so it'll be a bit depressing. I don't think anyone will mind, but that does mean that a few TWs will be mentioned again.
In this chapter there will be parental violence, parental abuse, psyhically and mentally. Also, there will be mention of rape and depression settling in the character.
Unfortunately this chapter is quite important for the following relationship of the characters mentioned, which means I can't summerize this easily. If there is need for it, just comment it down below and I'll try my best to make a good enough summary

When I wake up I feel some relief flood over me. I hadn't had a dream with her for a long time, hadn't really slept well for a long time too, so it's nice to be so well rested. I take a deep breath and when I let everything out, sudden grief crashes in my lungs.

Emmaline ... oh, how I miss her.

I get try to get out of bed, but my feet are heavier than yesterday, my body feels like it'll be put on ice if I leave the comforts of my blanket, yet my chest wants nothing more than to be set free from this heavy thick cloth put on it to keep it from expanding as much as it wants. When I feel panic sit in and my head becoming lighter, my eyes drifting, I sit up as fast as I can, which isn't really fast as the room is spinning in front of me. I try my best to get to the bathroom, to drink some water out of the sink, to wash my face, to make me wake up.

I end up on the floor in the entree of my bathroom, right by the door, by the frame which I hold onto. I get on my hands and knees and look in front of me to see the room spinning. I almost fall down again until I squeeze my eyes shut and have it only spin inside of my head. I keep crawling my way into the bathroom until I feel porcelain. I should've known it was the bathtub, but I felt far too exhausted to turn around, instead I climb inside of it, I hug myself and softly shush myself to calm down.

'It'll be fine, calm down, okay, just calm down', and it works for most of it, my attempts to control my breathing do the rest. 'It's okay, okay? It'll be okay. I just need you to calm down, yes, calm down, okay, just calm down."

When I find myself, my head slumped on the edge of the bathtub wall, my hands still hugging myself, hoping for comfort, I see it isn't yet morning. The clear sky is still dark, the sun not yet willing to show up. And so I sit in my bathtub for the remaining while of the ending of the dark skies until the sun does finally show her sight and I stand up. I still get a little dizzy, but I blink it away and make my way to the sink. I let the water run and let it collect until a good amount is in there. The sink is deep enough for me to dunk my head in there, and I do, softly daring to breathe under it, reminding me of people who aren't worth my time. I wait until I panic a little again to quickly get out of it, when I do, when I see my reflection again, I end up staring at it for the next 10 minutes. And with each minute I keep looking, I find a new imperfection. And I have to force myself to stop, to reapply my makeup, to clothe myself, 'do something before duties come to collect you. Before you have to think about your choosing'.

And I do. The sun has already risen quite a bit when I'm done, when I decide to sit by my desk. 'Emmaline', I think to myself, 'I haven't forgotten you'. And I go to sit comfortably and get ready to write a letter for her, something I used to do, but then over text.

My Dearest, Loveliest Emmaline,

"NO!" My father yells as he barges in and slams the door shut. "No! No you don't!"

I sit up, my quill falling right out my hands. "What ..."

"You don't get to do this! Not after everything I've done for you!" He grabs my face tightly in his hand and I feel myself losing all the air in my body. "You will marry him, you understand me, you will!" He's speaking through gritted teeth and his head is completely vibrant in color.