They deserve it all.

Chapter 22

When I woke up, I felt this choking feeling all over my body. Like it's strangling me and I can't do anything about it, like it's got me in a choke hold and all I can do is gasp for air and scratch up and out to the surface. I got angry at him, all while he just wanted to be nice about everything. I got angry at him and now what do I do ...?

He seemed to have changed. Willow speaks as she chomps the meat off the bone of an animal I saw getting slaughtered this morning, I made sure to listen to its cry, to give Willow the ultimate satisfaction. I also let some anger out on a few trees when I said I'd go for a quick run, but that was purely for me.

"Yeah, I know, but that's the thing, they have all changed, am I just expected to forgive all of them now?!" I'm pacing around the room as I feel the anger inside me die down as Willow eats more of the meat off.

No one expects anything from you, they only remember you as the girl who lost her mind and killed a bunch of innocent people—

"But they weren't innocent!"

And they don't know that! She puts the bone down and looks me straight in my eyes after wiping her mouth with the back of her palm. All they see is an angry child still, they don't know you, because you too have changed.

"Then what do I do ... I don't know what to do—"

You do what is asked of you, okay? And then when everything is going fine, something will most likely happen that'll make everything right. She stands up and holds my hands tightly before she puts them on her chest and looks at me with the sweetest smile known to mankind. You'll be the High Queen soon, matched or not, it's you who will sit on that throne, you who they will have to obey. Not the other way around. We'll have the power they took from you, the power that belongs to you, that you earned.

We don't say anything for the following second, until I turn around and begin to change into clothes that aren't drenched in sweat. In the main time Larien has made his way into the room and settled down to get me ready to go hunting with my father as it was an idea of his.

When I come back, changed into the pants and blouse that Larien gave me, he just stands there, ready with a brush, a beauty blender and my foundation. I sat down and patiently watched as he struggled to evenly smear it along. I showed him once and he found his way slowly enough and began to do it the way I do it. He didn't do it fast, there was light dabbing and smearing and soft stroking of the bristles along my skin, I used to practically beat my skin, but he does it so satisfyingly good that I can't help but ignore how slow he's going.

When he's done doing my ankles and my shoulders, my neck and my face, he tried to convince me that he could do my eyeliner, but I assured him I could it myself.

Later on I was picked up by a few faceless guards, they took me outside, Larien walking right behind me, Willow is with me, she hasn't faded ever since I came back in Anakia, not a moment did she leave me alone. And though no one can hear her and no one can see her, she's here with me and she makes me feel better about everything. She saves me when I cannot save myself, but she is still a figment of my imagination, a curse I got unwillingly yet so willingly. She is the anger inside of me and I am but a vessel when it grows too big, I suffer and grieve when I realize what happened, but then I feel good again because I feel empty again, cleansed of rage. But she brings me in danger yet tries so hard her best to keep me away from it, as if I am her Emmaline.

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-Love, me :).