They deserve it all.

Him

This story has quite some TWs. So just so you know, it will involve rape, not described explicitly at all, but it will be there. Childhood trauma, abuse and alcohol useage as well as a slight abandoning phase.I'm not the best as describing TW without spoiling a whole lot, but please do be aware, certain subjects in this chapter could be triggering.

06-09-22

My mother rides on the subway, her hands on the steering wheel and tears building up in her eyes. She then looks at me, her eyes so filled to the brink that I'm doubting whether she can see that we're going the right way.

"My sweet—" Both eyes spill over, she has to gasp for air and her knuckles turn white. "My sweet darling daughter," She says with a broken voice. "I ... I'm so sorry you had to see that, see him."

I look at her, I was a young child, 13, maybe 14. I hadn't been with her for that long and was almost never alone with her. I also didn't care to know her, didn't care for her, and I led my own life.

"I don't care." I say bluntly, my voice light, not because I didn't care for her, which I mostly didn't, but because what he did to her isn't any of my concern. "Though there something I wonder?"

Her eyes light up at the mention of a question for her, from me. That must have shocked her, to know that her daughter wants to know something about her after 2 years of living together in the same house, a few stairs apart, eating at the same table, drinking from the same fridge, sleeping under the same roof, only a door away yet so far and distant from each other.

"I wonder why you hadn't done anything back to him. I understand your magic is weaker, but it's not non-existent, neither is your shadow, why not give him what he deserves? Why let him be?"

"I .." She stumbles over her words, inaudible sentences are put together as she tries to explain. "I love ... him, I do, I love him ... really. And when you're in love ... sometimes there are- things, things you just have to endure."

I shake my head, perplexed by how stupid she is! She was such a smart woman, a scientist and analyst, she was a genius, yet look at her now!

"If that is love, then I don't want it. He hasn't known you that long, he doesn't treat you right, he's boring, he's abusive and you- you were a champion in the hand to hand combat competition, the Flair Fight, you won it, you beat all of them up. I remember your record, I watched it a lot. But you let him hit you and you did nothing, sorry if that makes me curious on why."

She keeps her eyes on the road, but her head lifts up, as if she has to cage her sobs of salty tears.

"He's a beautiful man," She says softly, as if that's reason enough.

I lean against the window and look outside to the buildings that zip by.

"So, if the man I love one day is beautiful, I should let him curse me and beat me and rape me and scar me?"

Her head whips towards me, her eyes are wide, so wide that I can see her pupils dilate. Her chin begins to tremble and then she lets it out, she begins to sob, her hands no longer on the steering wheel, now on her eyes and her face and her heart and her head. She wanted to reach out to me, but almost made us swerve. My head hit the window before it shook me the other way, then I quickly went over to grab the steering wheel and stabilize the car. This gave her the chance to dive in and hug me, and with one hand I pushed her off of me and forced her to put her hands on the steering wheel again.

She shook her head and coughed out more sobs, then she wiped them away with both hands. I am already close enough to it, and as I don't want to be pooled over by the cops or injure others I yell at her, scold her and tell her to go and sit in the back. She does, crawling her way so pathetically over me. When she sits in the back, I move my way to the driver's seat and begin to get off the highway. It's hard as my feet, which barely touch the pedals, have to guess which one is which, luckily I knew enough to get off the highway and turn around to go home.