CH 44 : SUFFERING

128 6 18
                                    

🎶Yeh jism

                                                    Fanaa kiya mujhe                     Ye chahne ki aas ne                 Taraa taraa shikast hi hua                       Sazaa bhi kya teri?                   Wafaa ko bewafaa kiya

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                       Fanaa kiya mujhe
                     Ye chahne ki aas ne
                 Taraa taraa shikast hi hua
                       Sazaa bhi kya teri?
                   Wafaa ko bewafaa kiya

                    RAGINI MALHOTRA

All the hustle in the hospital was mere beeps for me. The white floor was only in my view. My body was shaking with agony.

The ICU's door opened gaining my attention. I stood up hurriedly.

"Is he okay?" I asked the doctor.

"You are?" he asked.

"His wife." Am I even worthy of saying that now?

"Mrs Malhotra, he had a minor heartattack. I have diagnosed him and given him the needed supplies. He'll be alright." He assured.

Heartattack? My eyes welled up with tears.

Adi had a heartattack because of me.

I was the sole reason for his suffering. My misty eyes looked everywhere.

All the people passing by where looked at me with accustion? Detest? Indifference?

I deserve it. I deserve it all.

Breath in  Breath out Breath in Breath out

I was not able to breath. I feel a heavy weight of guilt pressing down on my chest.

Adi was my everything. He chose me over his family. And what did I gave him in return?

Betrayal

How can I hurt him? How can I love someone else?

This is not me! This can never be me.

Every heartbeat feels like a reminder of my betrayal.

I sank to the floor, tears cascading down. I was drowning in my own remorse.

My hands trembled. It was like a storm was raging inside me, tearing me apart piece by piece. The weight of my own betrayal was suffocating, crushing me under its relentless grip.

How do I find forgiveness when I can barely face myself?

The fact that hurts me the more was he was ready to forgive me. He was ready to accept me with all my taints. When I was not able to forgive myself he forgive me.

And what I gave him? Heartattack.

The man who gave me a life I took his. I can't get forgiveness. I can't. Mistakes are forgiven, sins can not.

"Amore," I starled. My eyes darted.

Vansh scrunch down at my level. He slowly whipped my tears. I hadn't been familiar to his touch. My body shivered violently.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 23 ⏰

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