"I think I've fallen for you, (Y/N)."
You stare at Austin with your mouth wide open. You blink a few times to ground yourself in reality and process what Austin just confessed to you. He finally looks up from the floor and stares at you. You feel his gaze in your soul, and you can't really understand where this is coming from.
"Austin, we've tried to make this work before," you say rubbing your thumb across his fingers.
About five years earlier, your friendship with Austin took a strange turn. What was once just friendly banter, turned into flirtatious conversation. When Austin was away, you longed for him, and when he was home, you couldn't get enough of him. You spent all of your time together for a while, but you never really became anything more than friends. A couple of nights spent cuddling ended in passionate makeout sessions, but it never progressed to anything more than that. You loved Austin, but you weren't in love with Austin, and you both had agreed that friendship was the best option for you.
"Seeing you with Aaron - it's just - it has me fucked up. I miss what we used to have, and I just needed you to know that."
You stop moving your thumb, but you don't let go of his hand. His grip is tense and his face is lined with worry.
"What would you like me to do?" you say a little more harshly than you intended.
Austin lets go of your hand and shrugs his shoulders.
"Look, you know that I love you and that I care about you more than most people. I just don't know what the best option for us is. We never even got past second base," you say with a laugh.
Austin cracks a smile, "Not without me trying my hardest."
"Listen, if you made it more known I would have fucked you in a heartbeat."
Austin lets out a groan and throws his head back, "You're the worst."
You smile at him, "I know that it must be weird for you seeing me with someone, especially one of your teammates. I think that has a lot to do with your feelings. Not to sound harsh, but I don't think we would be having this conversation if Aaron wasn't in the picture."
Austin tilts his head to the side and nods slowly in agreement.
"I think if it was the other way around and you were seeing someone, I would feel the exact same way. Our friendship has always been a little bit different. Neither one of us has been in an exclusive relationship for a long time. We've always had the ability to snuggle up to one another after a long day without pissing anyone else off. We're just different. But I don't want you to think I'm discounting your feelings."
"I understand where you're coming from. We've had the longest PG-13 friends with benefits situation ever," Austin says looking up at you.
You reach back over for his hand.
"I need you to understand how much I care about you. I need you in my life."
"I'm sorry that I even brought this up," Austin mutters under his breath.
You pull him closer to you, "Don't - that's not fair to either of us. You're my best friend, Austin. We have to talk about stuff like this even if it sucks."
"I guess Sonny just got sick of me talking about you constantly for the past 24 hours," Austin says with a laugh.
You lean over and hug Austin. You rest your head on his shoulder and you run your arm up and down his back. Austin stations his hand on your lower back and takes a deep breath. He pulls back away from you and gives you a kiss on the cheek.
"I love you, (Y/N)."
