Me, Love, & Secrets

Who's My Father?

"Mom, it's about time we talked," I said as she walked into her apartment.

"Talked about what, sweetie?" She placed the groceries on the counter. "I'm a little busy, so you're going to have to hurry."

"We need to talk about Dad."

Mom froze, her hand lingering on the paper grocery bags. She and I both knew this conversation was coming. It's been four years and she hasn't told me anything about him. When someone finds out they've been living with their step-father for thirteen years, they would want to know who their real father is. Did he abandon them? Was it an agreed divorce? Was he even married to their mom?

I heard I had a little brother. He could possibly be my twin. To think that we'd been separated for so long. Did he know about me? Did he care that I existed? I wanted to know everything that he knew. I wanted to know if he was willing to meet me. The sister who didn't know she had a brother. The sister who didn't know she'd been living with her step-father for thirteen years.

"What is it that you want to know?" she finally asked.

"Why'd you keep it a secret for so long? You talked about them, but never told me who they actually were," I accused. "You pretended they were nobodies and spoke about them like they were just some friends you knew. Some people you thought I wouldn't be interested in meeting."

"I thought it would be better if you didn't know about him."

"About who?"

"...Your father." Mom looked at me, her eyes drowning in sadness. "He left us, Ruby. When you were only five, he left and never looked back. I forgave him, because we were young. We thought we wanted a family together."

"But, you didn't."

"No, my parents were hard on him. We were engaged and then we weren't. He took your brother with him and said you both could never meet. Not unless we were to agree to tell you both what you needed to know at the same time."

"And you didn't want me to know?"

"No."

Of course, she didn't. I didn't have a say in what she wanted me to know about my father who left his fiancée and daughter behind. I know my grandparents can be a little rough at times, but you have to force them to like you. I never knew why they didn't like me sometimes. I thought it was because I acted differently. Now I know it was because of my father. He never tried to get their approval.

"Ruby, look, I know it's wrong not to tell you anything, but you have to understand." Mom began putting up the groceries. "Your father isn't as great as you think he is. He may be a successful businessman, but I doubt he knows anything about taking care of a woman."

"What's his name, Mama?" I demanded. "You can at least tell me that."

"Jordan. Jordan Daniels. You can look him up whenever you like. He's everywhere. Unfortunately. I don't like that you want to get involved with him. I wouldn't say he's bad news, but if he didn't care about us when he left, I don't think he'll care about us now."

"Maybe he will. Did you ever try to give him a chance to get to know me?"

Mom sighed and put the eggs in the fridge. She didn't say anything for a while as she put up the rest of the groceries. I didn't try to help. There was no need when she wasn't going to let me touch anything anyway. We stared at each other as she finished. She knew what I wanted and I wasn't going to leave until I got it.

"Fine," she snapped. "It's your problem if he doesn't want to talk with you. I warned you, Ruby."

"I know, Mama. I just want to know if he knows I still exist and I'm not dead."

"He knows. He just probably doesn't care."

He cares. I know he does.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

"Hey, JD here. I'm probably out doing business or...out doing business. Leave a message if it's urgent. I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

I ended the call and dialed again. I was not about to be fooled by him again. Not today. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to meet him. He had to answer or I was going to cry. Lucas wasn't due to be home for another five hours. I had more than enough time to throw a tantrum and clean everything up.

"Hey, JD here. I'm probably out doing business or...out doing business. Leave a message--"

I ended the call once more and threw my phone on the couch. I ran my hand through my hair and began pacing. Why was I worried about him not picking up my calls? I wouldn't pick up if I were him either. Like who would? It could be a scammer. Or some weird person who just wants to talk. But, he can at least pick up and tell me to stop calling him. I don't want to text him, because then he's going to be forced to call me. I don't want that. I reached out, not him.

My phone rang and it took me a minute to realize what was happening. I leapt across the coffee table and grabbed my phone. My fingers kept missing the call button and I was sure whoever it was was going to hang up if I didn't answer it in time. Ugh, this is so frustrating!

"H-hello? Hello?" I tried to calm myself down. "This is Ruby Dominguez."

"Ruby?"

My surroundings seemed to disappear as I sat up on the couch. Is this him? I couldn't seem to say anything. What if I say the wrong thing?

"Hello? Are you still there?"

"Y-yes. I'm sorry about that. I'm just...a little...surprised."

"Surprised someone finally answered? Or that I haven't blocked your number yet?" he asked.

"...Both, actually." I sighed. "I'm sorry about calling so much. I really needed to get in touch with you."

"With me? Jordan Daniels? How'd you get my number?"

"My mother...my mother gave it to me."

"Your mother?"

"...Julia Dominguez."

Jordan grew silent. I was afraid he'd hung up. Or had a heart attack. I don't know how old he is, but I'm hoping he's healthy enough.

"She's told me so much about you, I feel like I've known you forever. There's a lot I still need to know about you, but...if you want to get to know me, then I'm willing to meet with you. My schedule is completely full this week, but we can always sort--"

"Slow down."

I clamped my mouth shut and sighed. Of course. I can't keep my mouth shut when I'm nervous. What if he doesn't like me? What if he remembers my grandparents and doesn't want anything to do with me? Why am I overthinking this?

"Are you still living in Palm Springs?" Jordan asked.

"Yeah...why?" I asked.

"I'm actually heading there in a week or so for work. Maybe you and I could meet up some time."

"Really?"

"Sure. If you want. Is it too soon? Would that be too awkward for you?"

I laughed, getting up off the couch. "No, not at all. I'll be happy to meet up. The sooner, the better, right?"

"...Yeah."

"Just call whenever you get here. I'll be waiting."

"Can't wait."

YES!