A Familiar Prison

Chapter 23

AJ wakes and reaches for Gwen. All he feels is a cold sheet. "Gwen?" He looks around and doesn't see her. He gets out of bed and heads to the living room. He sees her curled up on the couch, the blanket from the back of it barely covering her. He decides to let her sleep, even if she doesn't look very restful. He grabs his laptop out of their room and comes back out to the living room. He goes to the kitchen and makes some hot cocoa and comes back to the couch and sits down. He checks email while drinking his cocoa. He notices Gwen stirring a bit and looks over to her. She's still asleep but is mumbling. He can't quite make out what she's saying, but she seems upset. He decides to try and wake her. He gets in front of her and starts stroking her hair and face, calling her name. "Gwen? Gwen, Baby, wake up. You're okay, Honey, let's wake up." He nudges her shoulder a bit to wake her, but it's not working. He shakes her a little more, not knowing what she was seeing.

"Don't go! Come back! Baby, come back!" Gwen was still asleep but speaking clearer.  A tear rolled down her cheek.

AJ's heart dropped. Was she dreaming about him leaving her? Why would she ever do that? He loves her and wouldn't want to be anywhere else than with her. He shook her a little harder, and she sat up and cried "No!"

AJ pulled his hand back as she looked at him, but didn't really see him. She seemed to be stuck in the dream still. He took her face in his hands and kissed her, trying to bring her out of it as he had before. She melted into his kiss at first, then after it was over, she looks at him and pulls back.

"Honey, what's going on?" AJ tried taking her hand and she pulled it away.

"I— I don't want to talk about it right now. I just need some time alone." She got up, grabbed her journal, and headed outside to the patio.

She sits down and starts writing. Why would I dream this? After all we've been through, he wouldn't want to leave me, would he? I mean, there has been a lot of things that happened to him because of me. If he weren't with me, he wouldn't have been held hostage... maybe the best thing is for him to leave. He'd be safer away from me. Tears start streaming down her cheeks. He says he won't leave, but why? He has every right to, and should. I'm not worthy of his love. He deserves someone who won't endanger him. He deserves a different wife. Someone who isn't disfigured, someone who isn't going to put his life at risk. Gwen puts the journal aside and pulls her knees to her chest and starts crying again. She hears someone come outside. "I don't want to talk right now." She doesn't even look up.

"Gwen—" Katie starts, but hears in her voice she's been crying. "Was it another nightmare?" Gwen nods. "Okay. I'll head back inside. If you do want to talk, you know I'm always here for you, G."

Gwen nods, and retreats more into herself. Katie walks back inside.

"Anything?" AJ looked hopeful, but with how quickly she came back inside, he already knew the answer.

Katie shook her head. "Sorry. She won't open up yet. Something is really bothering her though, I've never seen her like this."

"Me either." AJ looks outside to where Gwen is sitting. He can see her shoulders shaking from her crying. "I just want to go out and comfort her, but she won't let me. I don't know what else to do."

"Should we call her therapist? Maybe getting her in to talk to her would be a good idea." Katie looks outside at her friend, her heart breaking seeing her like this.

"I'm not sure. If she doesn't open up to me about whatever is going on later, I'll suggest it."

"Okay. Well, I'll get some breakfast made. Hopefully she'll have calmed down a bit by the time I'm done."

AJ nods. "Yeah." He doesn't seem very confident in this plan, but what choice did he have? Gwen was shutting him out. He couldn't do anything until she told him what was going on with her.

"I'll be back." He went into their room and took a piece of paper and started writing.

After he finished, he looked over his work. Not too shabby for a quick write, but he meant every word. He needed to show her how he felt, and wanted to make sure she knew he was hers and only hers, and that nothing would ever drive him away.