A Familiar Prison

Chapter 24

AJ came back into the kitchen, his letter in his pocket to give to her when the time was right. Katie was finishing up breakfast. Gwen came inside, Katie told her breakfast was about ready. She nodded, then went to the bedroom to get ready for the day, then headed back out to the kitchen.

Kevin came out and ate breakfast with the other three, and headed to work. Katie followed suit shortly after. AJ had some work to do, so he sat at the dining room table and got to work. Gwen headed back to the bedroom. AJ was deeply concerned about her, and just wanted to help her.

Little did he know though, Gwen had written a letter to him. With tears streaming down, she reread what she wrote to him.

AJ,

This is one of the hardest things for me to say or do. I have been really struggling with all that has gone on, and I don't want to burden you with it anymore. I think we should... split up. It breaks my heart to even write those words... but you'd be better off without me. I can get the paperwork done and you won't need to be with me anymore. You could go on living your life, free from my burdens, free from my drama, free from me. It's not at all what I thought my life would be like, or what I want at all, but I also want you happy and safe. Clearly that's not with me with what all you've been through. I'll go back east, start a different life, and you'll be away from me- safe. Just know I will never stop loving you. You are my one and only. Please don't come looking for me, don't follow me, I will just let you know when I'm back home. Just know I tried, and as always, I failed. I'm so sorry.

Love,
Gwen

Gwen tore out the page, folded it up and put it in her pocket. She would give it to him later, when the time was right. She needed to do something to distract her.

Going out to the dining room, she saw AJ working. She cleared her throat. "I'm going for a walk. You don't have to come, I know you have to work." Gwen wasn't looking at him at all, rather down to the ground.

"Okay, if you're sure. I love you." AJ looked straight at her. She nodded and walked outside.

AJ sighed. It hurt to see her so miserable. He still didn't know what was going on, but was trusting her to tell him before she gets too far into her head. Her demeanor had completely changed from yesterday, and he was concerned.

With tears streaming down her face, Gwen turns left from the driveway. She starts jogging. Thinking to herself. Pounding the pavement. She turns right, towards the woods. Maybe this will give me a clearer head. Just nature and me. She slows to a walk, taking a deep breath in.

Looking around, she saw a stump to sit on. She took the letter out of her pocket, sat down, and read her letter again. She folded it back up and held on to it, staring into the distance. She closes her eyes and just listens to nature. She thinks to herself deciding when to leave. Within a couple weeks— that way AJ can get back into the house alone and move on by himself. He doesn't need me around. More tears came. I just need to get away. "I'm so sorry Baby. I don't want to hurt you, I wish there was a different way, but I can't see any other way out of this. Me leaving is the best way." She spoke out loud to try to practice what she would say to him. "I do love you. I'm sorry I don't show it all the time. I'm sorry I don't say it enough. I just need to fix myself. There is no other way to put it. I'm broken, and I need fixed." She stood and started leaving the woods. "I just want you to be safe." She finished walking around the block and came back inside to see AJ working at his computer. She went into the kitchen to get a drink, and went back to their room.

She sat on the bed. Packing up what she could so she was ready when she needed to go, she got a notification on her phone. It was memories— pictures of AJ and her on their most recent trip to Disneyland, smiling, happy. AJ and her kissing under the moonlight. AJ and her on a walk around their block. Such happy memories. Being carefree. Now with a heavy heart, she knows she's doing the right thing. He deserves that happiness with someone not like her. Someone who will be able to keep him safe and protected. Someone who won't be a danger to him. She starts scrolling through her photos on her phone. So many with him over the past four years. It seems like a lifetime ago that they didn't know each other, but it's only been such a short amount of time compared to the rest of her life. She's sure she'll be able to move on. She just has to get the courage to leave.