A Familiar Prison

Chapter 26

AJ checks the time and realizes he's getting a bit hungry. Gwen hasn't emerged from their room for a couple hours. He goes back to check on her and sees her writing. He gently knocks on the door to alert her. She glances up, and looks back down and continues writing.

"I was starting to get hungry. Did you want me to make you anything?"

"No, thank you." She is barely audible.

"Honey, will you please tell me what happened? What changed from yesterday to today?"

"I— I—" she hesitated, then she shook her head, tears threatening to fall again. "I can't."

AJ's heart dropped hearing her deny him. He knew it had to be very bad if she wouldn't talk to him. "Would you talk to Piper about this? Tell her what's going on?"

Gwen shrugged. "It won't make a difference. We can try."

"Honey," AJ came closer to her and took her hand. "I just want you to be happy and safe. We will do whatever we need to get you there."

She nodded, but still wouldn't look at him. He took his other hand and brushed the hair away from her face, then rested his hand on her cheek. "Gwen, I love you so much. I don't know what's happened to you, but we will get through this. Together." He thought a moment, and took the paper out of his pocket. "Would you— would you please read this?"

Looking up only enough to take the paper, she nodded.

"I'll go make some lunch. I love you, Gwen."

With no response, he walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

When he left, Gwen looked at the folded paper he gave her. Should I read it now? He doesn't know what's going on, he could want to leave me as well. She sighed. It can't be any worse than what I think. She unfolded the letter.

My Dearest Gwendolyn,

I am not sure what all is going on in your head right now, but with how you're responding to me, I know it's not good.

Please know I'm always going to be by your side. I love you with all my heart, and it breaks my heart to see you hurting so much. I want to make it better for you.

Being with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will never know how I got so lucky for you to have chosen me to be your partner, your lover, and your best friend for the rest of our lives.

My love for you is always going to be unconditional. Nothing we have gone through or will go through will drive me away from you. Please know and believe that.

I will spend every day of the rest of my life with you, showing you how beautiful you are, how gracious you are, and how wonderful you are if that's what it takes to make you believe me. My heart is and always will be forever yours, my love.

Always yours,
Andrew John

Tears were streaming down her face while reading. She needed to think. Does he really mean this? Could he truly love me after all that has happened? I know I love him, and I want nothing more than to be with him. She was still skeptical though. I'll just look for any signs that this isn't true. I certainly wouldn't want to be around me after all that happened to me. Why would he? She took a deep breath, brushed the tears from her cheeks, and stood up.

She went into the kitchen where AJ was. He was standing facing away from the counter, head down, arms supporting him on either side, just waiting. He heard her approach and looked up. She still had tears in her eyes. "Is this really true? Do you really mean this?" She held up the letter.

"Of course, Baby. Every word in that letter is true and straight from my heart."

She teared up again. "How? How can you— how can you love me after all I've put you through? How can you stand to look at me? How can you even kiss me after everything? I've caused you so much hurt and pain—" she started crying.

AJ walked over and embraced her. "Honey, I can still do all those things because I love you! You have not caused a single iota of pain for me. That was all them, not you. Their actions caused all the trauma, not you. It never has been your fault. I do wish you could see that. You are perfect to me, no matter what happens. I could be held hostage a thousand times and I still know you would be coming for me, to rescue me and help me. That's how much faith I have in you. That's how much I love you, Gwendolyn." He leaned in and kissed her passionately. He tried throwing all the words he couldn't say into that kiss.

When they broke apart, she put her forehead to his. "These issues are going to take a long time to get through. Are you sure?" He nodded. She took his hand and lead him to the couch. "I guess you want an explanation for the mood change." He nodded again, but stayed silent, allowing her to continue. "I had another nightmare. I didn't even know it was a nightmare when it happened. It wasn't the typical ones I had been having." She explained about her dream and how dream Jessica had treated her and how dream AJ had treated her. "When I woke up after that dream, I wrote it all down, and needed to think. So I went to the couch to write, and after a bit I must have fallen asleep and had just about the same dream, except it was only you, Jessica wasn't in it. You said horrible mean things. Then you turned your back on me for the second time. You left me for the second time. I can't handle that. You say you won't leave, but what happens when all this gets too much for you? When my mental health issues get too much for you? Are you just going to say you've wanted to watch me suffer, and leave because it's now too much for you?" Tears were falling fast.

AJ hugged her again. When he pulled away, he put his finger under her chin to have her look at him. She still kept her eyes downcast. "Gwen." She looked up at him. "Please know this. You will never get too much for me. Any mental health issues you have we will conquer the way we have everything else— together. Nothing, and I mean nothing will cause me to turn my back on you. You are my one and only. You are the sunshine to my rainbow. You are the sun to my moon. You are the sky to my land. You, my sweet Gwendolyn, are stuck with me until death parts us." He kissed her again, and they sat on the couch in their own thoughts for a bit.

AJ then stood. "Now, why don't you call Piper to see if you can get in sooner than next week, and I'll finish making lunch."

AJ went into the kitchen and sent Katie a quick text telling her Gwen's behavior was because of her nightmares, and Gwen could explain later. He then finished up their lunch and brought the plates to the dining room table. They ate in silence for the most part. After lunch AJ had to get back to work. Gwen calls Piper to get another appointment scheduled, grabs her journal, and starts writing again.