My leader

46

One more week. That's the amount of time I have to wait for my 18th birthday. I don't know what I'm more excited. For the fact that Billie promised to try to get me out of the mansion for a day, or the fact that after it, I'll do my test then finally be doing real stuff.

On Saturday nights there's always a party going on and Billie and I decided to go just because we got bored. Hopefully nothing happens this time.

After Billie came to my room with a red rose as usual, we got to the elevator.

"If you want to leave,just tell me, okay baby?" Billie said as we were heading towards the music.

"I will. The same thing applies to you"

We got inside hand in hand and Billie lead us to a group of people Miles and Jaden were talking to.

"Yoooo, is this one Billie O'Connell? At a party? I must be trippin" one of the guys screamed as everyone got their attention on us.

"Shut the fuck up!" Billie screamed and playfully punched the dude's arm.

"You guys might already know Raven, my girlfriend, and Raven, they are Elijah, Isaac and she is Danielle" Billie said pointing to each one of them.

The girl looked at me like she was disgusted while one of the guys, the one named Elijah had a big smirk on his face.

"It's nice to meet you guys" I said while waving, giving them a fake smile.

" Same here. You girl are a bad influence for our Billie. Since she met you, she stopped smoking, drinking and coming to the parties. What kind of spell did you use?" Elijah said, his words causing everyone to laugh, except Billie

"I think it was one meant to keep me away from stupid people cuz I haven't seen you in a while "
She said back, which made Jaden and Miles yell "Ouch"

I had no idea if it was the bad light or just my brain or the fact that we are basically in the same house, but Isaac looked really familiar. Like I've seen him before, but my brain wasn't assimilating him with any event from inside the gang.

Compared to the others, he seemed more distant and he looked at me a couple times then completely turned his face the other way. Maybe he was just high as fuck and my brain was messing around.

We all danced a little but Billie got us back to the side when I started grinding on her. I knew what I was doing and if we continued it might have ended up into more, which wasn't a good idea because we both had a shot of vodka.

We were about to go get another one when Billie came to me, getting closer to my ear " Can we go please? I'm a little tired"

I turned to look into her eyes and nodded,then we decided to go and say goodbye to the group.

We went back to my room hand in hand, both of us being silent until we got inside.

"Was it only me, or that Danielle girl seemed a little pissed of?" I ask as I get off my high heels.

" She's like that with everyone, plus, I kinda killed her fuck buddy so it might be one of the reason"

" You did what?" I asked shocked of the answer she gave me.

"Brandon. The three of them were close to Brandon and they might not be the happiest about it, but who gives a fuck?" She says as she puts on one of my shirts and a pair of shorts she left in my room.

" And how are they close to Miles and Jaden?"

"They are close to everyone. Miles and Jaden are the most friendly and goofy guys I ever met." She says then she throws herself on my bed

I get nex to her, both of us resting against the headboard. A moment of silence got between us, in which we turned so we were looking in each other's eyes. She took my hand in hers and a big smile appeared on her face as she was looking at me.

I was admiring her ocean eyes and the way they were getting bigger and lighter when she was smiling. After a couple moments, her facial expression suddenly changed into a sad one, which made her break the eye contact and look down at our interlocked hands.

"What's wrong?" I asked concern of what might be bothering her.

"I've been thinking... we never discussed about what happened that night. I don't want to force you into anything but I feel like you should discuss about it with someone and if you feel like a therapist would be more appropriate I completely understand."

Her words took me by surprise a little. We never talked about it and I never thought of trying to. The only person I had a conversation about this was Maya and her, comforting me, helped A LOT.

"What is there to be talked about? I am over it and I think the trauma is gone. The reason I can't sleep alone anymore is because I need YOU next to me and the nightmares stopped too" I say laughing a little but she didn't seemed to be amused

"See? You had nightmares because of it and I had no idea. I feel like this will always be the elephant in the room and it's only my fault. I want you to tell me exactly how you feel about it, but only if you want to."

I had no idea what to say, I opened my mouth but no words came out.

"Okay, I'll go first. Because I was drunk and high, I can barely remember anything from that night. I was mad because I had a lot of fake friends and I blamed it on a simple joke you made. The next day I woke up and when I realised what I did, I told myself it wasn't real  so I wouldn't kill myself. I am still feeling like the most miserable person on earth when I think about it and I promised myself I'll never let anything bad happen to you again"

With every word she said, her eyes got more and more red and glossy. I tightened my grip on her hand, trying to comfort her. I never thought about the way she felt, but she seemed to be conscious and really sorry about everything.

" My turn now, I guess" I took breathe then got it all out. " That was the most traumatising night of my life. I felt vulnerable, hopeless and I can't even describe the physical and mental pain. I felt so powerful my entire life and felt like nothing could stop me, then you came and destroyed that for me.
The day after, I was so embarrassed and I had to clean the mess. The mess in my room and the one in my head. I was lucky Maya was there and helped me out"

At this point, tears were falling down her cheeks one by one and her breath got heavy. I bet my eyes were red too, because I felt the tears coming. Every word felt like a relief and she was right, I needed it.

"Raven I-"

But I didn't let her finish her words because I didn't finish mine

"No. I have something more to say. Even though it was awful, the experience made me stronger and made me handle my problems. I was always doing the same thing over and over again. Maya was my only friend and she could barely bring me to have some fun. It might sound stupid, but you brought action in my life. And I'm not referring to that night, but to what you did after. I got stuck with you during a storm, I went to parties with you, I went on my first date and you even allowed me to beat you up, which was lots of fun by the way."

We both giggled at my last words, then I continued
"You tried your best to show me how sorry you are and you did a great job."

The smile she had at the beginning was back on her face, along with a couple tears.

"Thank you Raven, for opening up to me about it. Please forgive me for what I did."

" I forgive you Billie"

Her smile got bigger and she pulled me for a kiss. It was a little salty because of our mixed tears, but that made it more intimate and powerful.

" I love you" she said after we were done kissing.

"I love you too" the words came out naturally and she had the biggest smile I've ever seen on her face

"For real?"

"For real"