𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐄, 𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

FIFTY ONE.

"SANTIAGO DIED."

The silence is completely deafening for a moment. Heidi just stares at me blankly, head tilted to the side. We've stopped walking by now.

I open my mouth to say more, but Heidi breathes deeply, so I snap it shut. "I figured just as much. The feeling I got..." She exhales and stays quiet for a few seconds after. "What happened?"

"Santiago came to save me and as we were escaping, we got captured. My father killed him. I'm sorry." The grief is back on my chest and heavier than ever.

Heidi looks down at the floor and a dry sob ripples through her throat. After a few quiet sobs later, she speaks again. "He wanted to work on things." She says with a quivering tone. "Before he left for the mission, he came up to me and told me we should try to patch things up, that he missed me." A smile graces her face. "He said he spoke with Chelsea and that she confessed and said that she will try to reconnect our bond—" A quiet sob pauses her story. "And now hes gone."

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly to rid them of their tears. When my eyes open, Heidi is looking at me with a blank face though her eyes are filled with sadness. "I'm sorry." I repeat in a croaked voice.

Her face then goes cold, all emotion falls from her eyes and she no longer looks sad, just empty. "He died saving you." She says and her voice is different, emotionless and monotone. "If he never went to save you, he'd still be here. With me. But hes not, all because of you." Her tone stays the same, never wavering.

I already mostly blame myself for Santiagos fate, but Heidi saying these things just solidifies that what happened is truly my fault. She lost her soulmate and its all my fault. They'd be together now if I didn't need saving.

"I know." I say, my voice is now thick and overflowing with emotion and quivering. "I'm s—"

Heidi stops me as I speak my third apology. "Apologizing will do nothing to fix it. I don't need to hear anymore." She combs her fingers through her dark hair, blinks her eyes a few rapid times, and then clears her throat. "I am going to feed. Is there anymore I should know?"

I look at her and our eyes meet, hers are still cold. I shake my head. "No, Heidi."

She nods once and then sweeps into a graceful turn, she darts down the hallway all in the same second, leaving me to stand in the cold corridor alone to sulk in my newfound insurmountable guilt.

I not only lost one close friend but now two and its all my fault, that much is still clear. The guilt tearing through my heart is reminiscent of the same guilt I experienced shortly after my arrival here for the first time, when the lives I took came vengefully for me.

I can't stand with the feeling pressing on my chest any longer, so I start walking down the hallway, which helps relive the feeling a little but not completely, so as I walk its still there.

I eventually wind up on the end of the castle where my bedroom is, so I enter into my bedroom and discover that its the same as I left it, except for some books being in spots I don't recall them being in.

I push my door shut behind me and try to revel in the comfort that my room brings, but its quickly overlapped by the familiar ache of guilt.

I had thought that being home would bring nothing but joyous emotions, yet here I am with a gaping ache stationed in the middle of my chest and mind. Does pain follow me wherever I go? No matter where or who I am with? It seems to be the case.