Rejected Assassin

Chapter 12

Amanda's POV

Is this how my life is supposed to be me killing for entertainment yet still I'm too scared to actually face my fears and kill the man who caused me all this pain.

I'm still shocked they didn't know about all the abuse. They kick me think it was all I felt. Thinking I was going to heal I did but the scar marks are still there I'm still broken still shattered into a million pieces just picking them up.

I'm not always strong and independent. I scream like mother nature, like the sky, like the ocean like any one else. When the rain would fall at night I wouldn't be so lonely know mother nature was in pain as well.

"You deserve to die....you slut" I repeated his words sitting up I had the same dream again last night it was currently six in the morning meaning everyone would soon be up.

"Your worthless" I repeated all the thoughts coming back none of them could come up with a reason for me to continue....living.

"Why would he do that?" I asked aloud. Did he want them to think I was okay that I was fine just over reacting. Did he think my screams where fake my pain was nothing.

"Who do you think you are bitch" I chuckled at the end rembering the day when I left this hell hole so...why am I back.

"Oh look the bitch is back" I laughed lightly not wanting to wake anyone.

"Learn your place-" my voice cracked as I gripped my rode as two tears  fell from my eyes. No I couldn't be crying. Just relax Amanda stay calm.

"No one will love you if your unattractive" I sang the song that always kept me company. When they put makeup on me so I could look presentable, they changed me feed, me made me look...perfect. To make it look like nothing was wrong I bet that's what they did to Cassandra.

"Big Mac will I ever be strong like you" I laughed recalling how much I looked up to my brothers when I was younger when they were alive.

"Yeah you'll be even stronger Lil Sis and pretty but no one will ever harm you" I repeated his words leaning against the bed end.

"You promise" I smiled remembering when they were kind to me so where my parents.

"Yeah I promise" I laughed evilly now. Where was that promise now was punching me not considered harming to him. Was slapping me considered protecting me.

I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. The scars where there just not on my face they were careful not to hit there.

I lifted up my shirt and whimpered looked at the scar that will for ever haunt me. The mark that has given me nightmares. They didn't know. Or did they?

"Was hitting me okay?" I asked the mirror pretending it was my brother.

"I thought you said I was pretty and perfect"  I whispered looking at it with tears in my eyes.

"But I'm not!" I yelled the last part pulling the mirror down smashing it in the process.

"Am I perfect now Alpha Richards oh better yet Edward do you want to play with me now" I asked smearing you lipstick all over my face. I went into my weapon bag and grabbed the sledge hammer.

"Do you love me now?" I asked another mirror there where multiple in the room.

"No one will ever harm me!" I yelled smashing another mirror it's like they kept coming back.

"Is this good enough for you Nicholas or are you going to beat me since your pancake is too cold?" I asked my reflection then smashed that mirror too.