Chapter 18

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Amanda's POV

"Explain....I'm your mate and I know your hiding something from me"

"Fine...the reason I've been hiding something from you what they've been talking about the real me is...I kill okay....I can't help it cause it's what I'm supposed to do" I lied faking everything I doubt he realized though.

"What do you mean it's in your nature to kill you always have a choice" he dosen't get I god dammit.

"Well I don't have a choice. Okay I'm supposed to kill to survive not help people. I always try to hide the true me fearing people would run away from me but....I can't help it. I can't stop my genes!" I started yelling. Wow I'm good at this. At least it isn't a complete lie.

"You do have a choice you don't have to kill!" I winced backing up his eyes were a darker shade of blue now.

"I don't have a fucking choice okay! I'm a reaper a god damn reaper my kind need to kill to survive" he looked taken back by me words but then his eyes softened.

"I didn't know...I'm sorry......but please try not to kill that much it would be bad on the pack" I nodded sitting down on his bed inhaling his sent.

"Well at least you aren't the Satan's Spawn am I right now there's a person who kills for fun" he laughed and I faked one so it didn't look weird.

"So your not mad?" I was really getting caught up in his mate bond thing.

"Of course not why would I be...now come on let's get to bed" I nodded laying down trying to come up with a escape route.

"Goodnight Baby doll" he whispered in my ear turning of the light.

"Goodnight wolfie" he didn't reply I only heard a snore.

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I made sure to avoid the patrol by using the one clear end at the entrance of the pack only if given permission to enter could you pass through that's why no rouge ever used there.

Dashing towards the door I opened it silently. Looking around I took out a dagger for safety reasons. I silently walked up stairs not waking anyone. This is way too easy. Once I reached Joshua's room I stopped and turned the knob praying he was still asleep. Yes and he's alone.

I looked around his room it was nice but could be better there were some items out of place but other than that it's good. I looked at the pictures of him and his parents then him playing with little me.

Picking up one of all my brothers including Joshua chasing after me they were playing soccer so I stole there ball not understanding the game. This was when my parents were still alive.

"You had a nice childhood Joshua I remember when we played for hours we were best friends. I just don't know when it all changed" I whispered to the picture of us. I then tucked it in my saddle bag filled with weapons hoping it wouldn't break.

Before I left I walked over to his bed looking at him when he slept. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, it was then his face held the innocence of a child.

"Thanks for rejecting me...it help me see things better and now I have a kind and loving mate...thank you" I touched his cheek causing him the shift his position but I left before he realized I was there.

I walked down the hall then spotted Marcus' room. I should visit I probably won't see him when he's a wake anyway. I walked over to his door then carefully walked in not making a sound.

"Hey BigMac" I greeted him softly walking around his room. I then saw multiple pictures of our parents and some even with me and him.

"Remember when I was hurt your pretended to be the pack doctor and take care of me" I held the picture close he was wearing a doctors coat with some orange juice in his hand begging me to drink up.

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