For you|Billie Eilish Fanfic

72:I really dont fucking want to

It's not true
Tell me I've been lied to
Crying isn't like you
Oh-oh-oh

I paused separating the mic from my mouth and clearing a knot in my throat. I put the mic near my mouth again.

What the hell did I do?
Never been the type to
Let someone see right through
Oh-oh-oh

My eyes began to tear up as the feelings i had tried to ignore and push to the back of my mind began to hit me like a bullet train.

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say "I love you"

Something in me shifted and my voice cracked as i felt the knot in my throat come back. I got this shit, i need to hold it together.

I love you and I don't want to
Oh-oh-oh

Billie:Man fuck love!

People began to scream again. Some were cheering and others were awwing.

Up all night on another red eye
I wish we never learned to fly
I-I-I

I had to blink a lot while looking at the ceiling so that my tears would go away

Maybe we should just try
To tell ourselves a good lie
I didn't mean to make you cry

I let out a barely audible sob as I continued to sing.

I-I-I
Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say "I love you"
I love you and I don't want to

Billie:I really really don't fucking want to.

I said laughing bitterly as my voice broke once again for what felt like the 20th time.

Oh-oh-oh
The smile that you gave me
Even when you felt like dying

I stop singing and covered my face with the hand that has the mic as i let tears out. I felt Finneas kiss my head and rub my back.

I took in a deep breath and pushed hair away from my face as i put the mic back up to my lips and kept on singing.

We fall apart as it gets dark
I'm in your arms in Central Park
There's nothing you could do or say
I can't escape the way, I love you

Billie:Facts

I heard the crowd aww and some were saying words of encouragement.

I don't want to, but I love you
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh

I cried for a minute while covering my face as the song began to end.

Billie:Um i just want to say.

I separated the mic from my mouth and let out a sob, soon putting it back and pretending like nothing happened.

Billie:If you love someone, whoever the fuck, your girlfriend

I said as my voice broke.

Billie:Boyfriend,mom,dad,brother,sister,friend,dog, whoever the fuck.

I took a moment and looked at everybody.

Billie:Please give them a hug. Tell them how much you love them. Appreciate them, because nothing lasts forever, so just make sure to tell that person that you love them because you...

I felt the knot in my throat again.

Billie:Uh...you never...know when the last time you're able to say, i love you to someone is...so just, make every moment count.

I nodded my head indicating that i was done. Finneas and i got off the stage. I hugged him and cried.

Billie:Thanks for being here.

I could tell he smiled as he hugged me back strongly.

Finneas:Anytime baby sis.

End of flashback

I didn't notice we had let go until i saw her staring at my face. She rubbed her hands up and down my arms. I smiled at her.

Jennifer:Everything ok?

Billie:Even better than ok.

She gave me a smile and it began getting dark so we decided to leave.

Jennifer:Shittt our food. I completely forgot about that.

Billie:Lets eat it now. They wrapped it so that it stays warm.

She nodded her head,she sat down by the shore meanwhile i went and grabbed the food. I came back and sat down next to Jennifer. I handed her food over to her. As soon as she opened it

Billie:I don't get how you can just skip to dessert.

Jennifer:It's just the way that it is mann.

I shook my head in disapproval with a small smile. I hadn't clocked how much i was smiling. I have been way happier since Jennifer came back.I smiled to myself as i saw Jennifer eating her Tatianoff and  began to eat my burritos.

After we were done eating we  stayed to watch the sun setting, which i had never done before. Jennifer rested her head on my shoulder. I snaked an arm around Jennifer's waist as i internally melted at her scent.

She smelt like home, my home.

When it fully got dark we put on the rest of our clothes and took off. While i was driving the car we listened to Khalid while making jokes and giggling about random shit we saw on the road.

I realized Jennifer had been quiet for too long. I looked next to me and saw a sleeping Jennifer. She looked like she was completely tranquil. She looked happy, she had a little smile on her face.

Im guessing that means she's having a good dream. I texted Yuliet to tell me the address of their hotel and told her Jennifer fell asleep.

When i finally got to the hotel i saw a bunch of people taking pictures of me as i got out of my car. I rolled my eyes walking around to the passenger side as i stuck out my middle finger to the paps.

I opened the passengers door. I saw Jennifer slightly stirring awake and mumbling incoherent words.

Billie:Its ok baby. I got you.

Authors note:Im alive, surprise. Dorian's bitch ass is tearing up the Bahamas tho. Anyways Bils better fucking pause the tour and recover.

Im sick of her overworking herself and not giving her ankles enough time to heal. Anyways, ion know if this shit was too depressing🤣