This isn't what friends do

67. Brandon; Imperfect family

Mason probably hates me right now. He just-we just did something so intimate only for me to make him climb out of the window minutes later without an explanation.

I grab some joggers from my wardrobe and then a jumper checking my room out one last time to make sure nothing incriminating was left laying around before I leave shutting the door behind myself just in case.

My hearts in my throat as I walk down the stairs. I feel like a child coming down to get told off by my parents all over again it getting worse when I see them sat on the sofa together in silence. My Dad notices me first. He gives me these apologetic eyes probably because he knew mine and Mason’s plans that my Mom just ruined. That and he must see in my face how I really didn’t want her to be here.

“There you are!” She sees me stands up and walking over to me, wraps her arms around me and no matter how annoyed I am right now I can’t help but sink into her arms hugging her back. “Where is she then?” She asks and I nearly cringe at the word she.

“His just got out of a serious relationship.” My Dad announces trying to take all the pressure off of me.

“You don’t need serious relationships dear. Your seventeen. You have your whole life for them. It won’t last you’re too young and your father should know better.” She complains giving my Dad dagger eyes at the end.

“Just because we didn’t work out Hannah that doesn’t mean his won’t.” He defends but my Mom quickly cuts him off.

“Okay but his still a child. He isn’t old enough to be left alone. What if he gets her pregnant? You have no idea what he does in this house alone he could be on drugs or anything!” She rages speaking as if I’m not in the room just like she always has.

“Thanks Mom. Real confidence you have in me.” I mumble irritated wondering to the sofa and flopping down beside my Dad.

“That’s not what I mean sweetie. One day you will thank me.” Her voice turns sweet again but I know it’s fake.

“Thank you for what exactly? For leaving? Because it’s Dad that’s been raising me and his doing a pretty good job at it. Just because you flew off the wagon it doesn’t mean I will too.” I turn bitter loosing my cool.

“Brandon.” She starts her voice raised before she sighs. “Can we go out and talk somewhere please?”

“About what?” I ask confused.

“A lot of things. Please.” I fall for it all over again her eyes pleading, the eyes of the women who sang me to sleep every night and played rocket ships with me in cardboard boxes.

“Okay. I’ve already eaten but we can go for a walk.” I cave standing and running my fingers through my wet hair scraping it back into a bun.

She smiles again at me knowing she’s getting her own way. “You should cut your hair baby it’s so long.” She teases just like the last time I saw her.

“Are you coming?” I ignore her comment heading to the door and putting on some trainers my temper lessening when I saw Masons shoes thinking about him. I turn and she she’s right behind me opening the door waiting.


We were walking in silence for a few minutes me waiting for her to hurry and say something wanting to get her out of here so I can see Mason already.

“Your Dad said that you work at a bank now?” She speaks up finally it clear that isn’t what she wants to talk about.

“Yeah. I have for a while Mom.” I answer stuffing my hands into my pockets tempted to just ask her bluntly if she doesn’t hurry this up.

“You seem so grown up. Like the last time I saw you wasn’t that long ago but you seem different. Like a man now.” She says sincerely her arms wrapping around one of mine squeezing me.
“I know that I’ve been a total waste of space these past few years but I don’t want you to hate me Brandon.” She begins.

“I don’t hate you Mom. Honestly I just don’t care much anymore.” I finally admit. “I have my own life and it seems like you couldn’t care less to be in it.”

“No that isn’t true I do care.” She pulls away.

“No Mom you don’t. If you did you’d be around more or at least message me more.” I snap knowing this was my chance to vent and tell her and myself really exactly how I feel because up until now I don’t think I have too scared to let myself hurt because of her.

“It’s difficult baby.” I cut her off.

“Difficult to text your son?” I stop walking standing back to look at her. “You’re right Mom I have changed. Don’t go off at Dad about how his bringing me up when you don’t even know me. I’m not some scared kid anymore that will sit quietly by hearing everything you say and do and not speaking up about it.”

“You didn’t understand anything about what happened with me and your Dad Brandon.” She points a finger at me testing me.

“Oh I knew more than you thought. I heard everything. All the yelling and the temper tantrums. I don’t know why I was so surprised when you hit me honestly because I’d heard you doing it to Dad for years.” I say freely no longer biting my tongue.

She’s shocked standing speechless just staring at me. I take a deep breath not wanting to fight with her. “You pretend like it was the drink that did it but it happened for a long time before that Mom too. You were always toxic.”

“I didn’t-" She stopped.

“I’m over it Mom. You go back to Wales and speak to me whenever you can. I will be fine here with Dad. If you seriously care like you’re saying you do then make the effort. You coming here one time to see me doesn’t change anything.”

“But... Hunny just hear me out please.” She begs as I begin stepping away from her.

“I’m all ears go for it...” I wait.

“I’m not going to be in Wales anymore. I met a guy and we are moving to Australia...” I roll my eyes at her admittance. I should of seen this coming. “Hang on baby wait.” She catches my arm as I go to walk away again. “I want you to come with us.” She finally admits.

I laugh. “Go with you? You’re really asking me to leave everything behind that I have here and move with you, someone I hardly know and a random guy that you probably hardly know?” I stop waiting for her answer.

“His a good guy Brandon.” She says her voice raising again.

“What like Dad was? You and good guys don’t mix. You always end up destroying them-" I went from talking to needing to stop my face stinging from the slap she gave me my hand flying there as we both stared at each other now in silence.

“Sorry...” She starts.

“Fuck you Mom.” I spit half expecting another hit honestly. “Move to Australia... or don’t I really don’t give a shit.” I tell her totally done with this conversation nothing she could say now would convince me to hear her out.

Nothing had changed since she left. I’d thought over the sparse visits that she had. I’d hoped that she was changing her lifestyle in Wales and maybe eventually would move back here. I wasn’t naive or thinking she would get back with my Dad, in fact I didn’t want that at all but I wanted her, my Mom back. I was more certain than ever now that that wasn’t ever happening.

“Brandon stop...” She reaches out for me but I shake her off me.

“By the way Mom I’m gay. I had a boy over at the house.” I tell her feeling like an idiot for hiding it in the first place. In fact I now said it loud enough that the entire street probably heard not caring. I felt bad that I’d tried hiding him knowing I’d feel a million times better when I can see him and proudly show him off to everyone.

She looked shocked when I said it her mouth dropping. “Brandon!” She gasps my name. “I don’t even know what to say!” She screams following me as I head back towards the house. “Does your father know this?” She asks.

“Yep.” I say proudly.

“You better not be sleeping with him!” She lectures and again I happily tell him I am. “Brandon! That’s disgusting! I knew I should of came sooner for you. Please this is another reason you should move to Australia.” She runs to keep up with me as I’d been making much faster strides to the house, now on my drive.
I spin once I’m at the front door looking at her knowing this could probably be the last time and I felt nothing. No pain no worry of what could happen to her no guilt that I’m making her tear up at the idea of me being with a boy. I was breaking her heart and I knew why and didn’t care. “Bye Mom. I really hope that you have a good life with whatever your boyfriends name is.” I say honestly before opening the house door and stepping inside shutting it on her before she could push her way in leaning against it and sighing out in relief that was over.

My Dad was there instantly standing in front of me his entire face looking concerned as if wanting to know what just happened. His eyes kept flickering to my cheek which was still on fire, waiting for me to say something.

“I need to ring Mason and apologise...” I remember darting away from the door to the sofa not remembering where my phone was tossing pillows to the floor then picking them and the blankets from mine and Mason’s date up throwing them back onto the sofa groaning getting more and more growingly angry when I couldn’t find it.

“I thought he was upstairs still?” My Dad asks watching me.

“NO!” I snap standing and glaring at him sighing when I realised I was taking this out on the wrong person. “I kicked him out when I saw her... I’m a total idiot.” I talk to myself as I head towards the kitchen seeing my phone on the counter I whip it off unlocking it in seconds and dialling his number that I knew by heart.