Matrimonio Rotto

diciannove

◇unedited◇

Jamee's POV

James fell back asleep while I was breastfeeding Fiorelli. He doesn't have the right to be angry or upset, I replied those words over and over again in my mind. I never imagined he would think like that.

To my surprised, Nina was at the house. So I guess it was Vincenzio who told her to come to James' house. I bathed her first and changed her clothes with the one Nicholas brought from my house.

Preparing breakfast, I had to face Vincenzio.

"You're still not going to talk to me?" He asked sitting on the barstool in front of the counter.

"No." I simply replied and focused on cooking breakfast for everyone. I prepared various of food and fruits at the side. When I'm done, I walked up to James' room to woke him up.

I frowned when I walked in, there was no head or body on sight. But a duvet spread on the bed, so I walked up to the bed and opened the duvet. He was inside the duvet curled up with a pillow.

"James, wake up. I have prepared breakfast." I said to him. But he turned left and right looking for something or rather like someone.

"Dov'è Fiorelli?" He asked in panicked.
(Where is Fiorelli?)

"Chi è Fiorelli?" I asked him back, decided to tease him.
(Who is Fiorelli?)

"No, no, no, no, no. She was here with me, nostra figlia." He frantically said as he got up to a sitting position. He kept on looking for her around the room with his eyes roamed everywhere. I felt like he might burst out of panic.
(Our daughter)

"Calm down, she's downstairs with Nina." I put my hand on his chest to cooled him down. He snapped his head towards me and it softened. Was he that scared that it was just a dream?

He suddenly leaned over to me and snuggled up. He let out a sigh of relief and I kind of felt bad for teasing him that way.

"I thought it was a dream. But it was too good to be just a dream." He murmured. I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"Wash up and have breakfast downstairs," I said after a moment. He nodded and pulled away.

I gave him time to wash up and left him alone. As I goes downstairs, Vincenzio remained seated. It was not because I didn't like him, I was still a little upset with him.

"Don't you have any work to do?" I asked and stood back behind the counter.

"I do, here." He replied. I raised an eyebrow at him in question. "The cleaning staff, I'm watching them." He shrugged and continued to bite on his food. Not long after that, James came down. He eyed me and his brother back and forth. He knew I was not in a good term with Vincenzio about something.

"Where is she?" That was the first question he asked.

"I'm sending them back home," I replied to his question in searching for his daughter.

"You can't. She's staying here with us." He stubbornly said and then we were back to square one where he tried to pulled me back in.

"You know James, just let them be. You're going to suffocating her if you always tried I pull her in." My thought exactly and Vincenzio voiced it out. I gave James a pointed look that said Vincenzio was right.

He sighed and sat down next to his brother, he waited.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I saw him only sat there and not making any move to get his breakfast.

He looked dazed but then shook his head. "Nothing." Like he realized something, he started to scoop his own food. As they ate in silence, I walked away to do something else.

After some time, I came back and Vincenzio had left. James stuck around in the kitchen by himself.

"Did he left?" I asked as soon as I approached him.

"Yes. I told him to leave because he makes you uncomfortable." He replied. These two brothers were the same, they had a way to made me feel uncomfortable in some sense.

"You know, you're just the same," I told him and then I started cleaning up the counter to made it looked spotless.

"I won't interfere you about work, but please don't tire yourself. I don't want to see you faint again and especially on me." I looked up and saw his worried look. But, I pushed that aside.

"I'll make sure not to faint on you next time since I don't want to bother you. I know you have someone to looked out now." This on and off feeling towards him was really inconsistent. Sometimes I wanted to be there for him and some other times, I would felt angry at him and said things that might hurt him.

"It's not bothering me. I'm worried about you, Jamee. I felt helpless since I don't know where I stand in your life. I am worried when you are away with our daughter and live by yourself. How could I not think about you every single second?" He frustratedly vents out his anger. He grabbed a handful of his hair in his hands tightly.

A sobbed was out and I knew it came from him.

"James," I called out his name softly and then walked up to him. I wrapped my arms around him and he dropped his head in my arm.

"I don't want to feel helpless, Jamee." He said in dejected. "I want to be able to hold you in my arms again and be my wife."

"I am here, James." That's all I could offer him.

"It's not enough." His voice came out hoarsely. He snuggled close to me, trying to become body to body with me.

"It has to because that's the only thing I could offer you for now." I heard him sighed.

"I bought you a dress." The sudden change of mood really took me by surprise.