Matrimonio Rotto

quarantasei

◇unedited◇

Sardinia, Cagliari, Italy.

We couldn't settle in properly just yet, so here we were at late night by the pool and just sat and talk. The problem was James didn't want to corporate, he wanted to stay up all night it seem.

He was laying down between my legs as his hands kept on rubbing on my skin and when I get irritated, I would pull on his hair.

"This feels nice," he stated. "Will you tell me?"

"Depends." I'm not going to tell him about everything anymore since we were divorced.

"When you found out you were pregnant, how did you feel?" He looked up at me to see if I would answer his question. He had that expecting look on his face.

"How did I feel about having a baby with no one by my side for emotional support?" It came out as a question and how should I tell him?

Diane offered me to stay with her family who lived in the coastal area. She said no Nicoli family knew where her family stay because she was alone living with them. I agreed because I couldn't live alone in fear of him finding me out of nowhere.

Diane had three kids which were two girls and one boy. They had been welcoming me and acted so nice toward me. It made me feel accompanied and not alone, even her husband was a good company.

While settling in, I had been feeling under the weather somehow. But today, I was supposed to buy groceries since the kids were at school and Mr. Revello was at work, so I volunteered.

I got dressed and grabbed my bag to go. I was still not familiar with this neighborhood but I will get used to it, Italy was my hometown as well.

I walked down the path to lead me to the main road, I was going to shop in the supermarket since I would buy a lot. "Jamee."

I stopped walking and turned around to find Renz. "Did you finish school already?"

"Yes. You're going to the market, aren't you? Can I tag along?" She asked and come closer to my side as if ready to go without having to worry about going home first.

"Sure. You will be a good company." I smiled and gestured for us to continue walking on our way.

We arrived at the supermarket by walk and it was such an experience for me. Renz was pushing the cart as she insisted. Our first stop was vegetables. While I was choosing the vegetables, Renz was picking something out for herself somewhere.

"Buying greens for the little one?" A deep voice startled me and I quickly turned my head to the side to find a well-suited man. He was looking at the vegetables in my hands and at my lower body part.

"Pardon?" I asked in an offended way. Putting the vegetables on the cart, I ignored the man and rolled the cart away.

"She didn't know yet." That was what I heard before getting away from him. Was he talking to himself? That was creepy.

I found Renz in the women's section and ask what she was looking for and she showed me a pack of tampons and pads. "The tampon is for the day and the pad is for the night."

I chuckled, she was so thorough.

"Can we get sausage?" Renz looked up from the cart and asked.

"Of course, let's go find them." We continued to shop until everything we needed was fulfilled and the cart was almost full. We needed to consider the bags since we were going to carry them because we came here by walk.

We stood behind another customer to pay for our groceries. When it was our time to pay, Renz put the stuff on the cashier's table and when our stuff was almost finished, another thing dropped into our line.

"Excuse me, this is still our turn." I grabbed the thing angrily and turn around to give it back to the owner. What a surprise, it was the man I saw earlier. I extended the thing to him or shoved it to him to be exact.

"Keep it, you will need it. Use it when you get home and call me." The man shoved the thing back to me along with a name card and leave just like that.

"Lady." The cashier called for me to proceed with the payment and ask for the thing I had in hand to be put into the checkout. I opened my hand to see what was exactly the thing he throw at me, my eyes widen when I realized it was a pregnancy test.

Renz took it away from me and give it to the lady, I was about to protest when the beep sound told me that the pregnancy test kit was already put in the checkout items.

In the end, I paid for our groceries and walk back home. I kept on thinking about what the man said. I would need it and use it after getting home. What does that mean, that I'm pregnant?

"Watch out." I felt my arm being pulled to the side. I blinked and saw that I was about to bump into someone and Renz pull me out of the way. "Why are you zoning out while walking, it's dangerous."

"That's because I couldn't stop thinking about what the man told me at the supermarket," I replied in my head. But in reality, I just shook my head in response.

Once we got home, I go to my room with the kit in my hand. Thankfully, Renz didn't notice it. I sat on the edge of the bed and stare at the pregnancy kit in my hand. I was contemplating whether I should take it or not but my gut somehow encourage me to do it.

So, I decided to take it to the bathroom after reading the instructions carefully. I was a bit shaking as I proceed, I didn't know how to feel but I felt like crying. How could this happen at this moment?

As the instruction said, I waited for five minutes. Those five minutes were the longest time I've waited and it felt dreading.

I got up from the toilet bowl and went to the vanity table where I put the kit to work its thing out. My shaky legs successfully made it. My eyes closed on their own and I let out a nervous breath.

Slowly opened my eyes and looked down to see the result.

I bit my lower lip as a tear fall down. My body and emotions reacted on their own like they knew a new life was forming inside of me.

That man. I looked at his name card which I keep in my bag.

Andreas D'Vasillo, OB-Gyn.