It was 8 pm, right after dinner...

XXVI

When Brett was asked about his life motto or a characteristic he represented, he (and Eddy) would always answer with the phrase: "Just do it!"
He liked to not think too much and just dive head first into whatever challenge or project he faced. What point was there in wasting time overanalizing things instead of just trying them out?

A prestigious violin competition? Of course he'd attend, ready or not! A scholarship in Sydney, even if it was far away from home and his friends? No question! What an opportunity and he'd make new friends in no time. Asking a pretty girl out for a date? No problem! If he'd get rejected, he'd just dust off and proceed to ask other pretty girls. Twoset? That had been his and Eddy's best decision yet, despite all the people, who hadn't believed in them. Doing the kickstarter for their world tour dream, even though it included them sleeping on the streets of Sydney till they'd reached their goal? Let's do this and then travel the world together! Moving to Singapore with Eddy? If it helped Twoset, a big fat YES to that! You get the point.

But not so today. His clear "just do it!"-attitude had jumped out of the window and got splattered on the sidewalk in front of their building. Just listen to what Ray had to say? It sounded so easy and Brett himself was wondering, why it was so difficult for him to just face a potential truth than stay in the dark and eventually figure it out himself, even if it might kill him and his poor heart till then, not necessarily in this order.
See, it didn't even make sense! It should be clear to him, that he did want to hear all this. But everything inside him screamed No and Flee and Run...
Brett gulped.

"Brett? Do you want to hear it or not?"
Brett closed his eyes.
"I don't know, Ray..."
"I can call later and you can think about it. How about that?", Ray suggested in an encouraging tone.
"No, wait... " Fuck this! He needed clearance and he needed it now! Why else wasting his and Ray's time with this call? And if it screwed up his life... Well, he probably was screwed anyways, so what difference did it make?

"Go ahead! Tell me!", Brett finally exclaimed. He quickly made sure, that Eddy wasn't back yet and closed the door to his room, before sitting down on his bed again. He felt like he needed to sit for whatever was to come.
"Are you sure?", Ray asked carefully.
"Fuck, Ray if you won't start soon, I might change my stupid mind, so go!"

"Alright!" Brett heard him taking a deep breath.
"Theory number one: You are sick. You guys don't really know what it is, how it'll develop and what it means for your future, work wise and personally. This is huge, Brett!"
Brett flinched a bit at Ray's clear words. He knew, Ray was right, but he had not dared to think of his own situation this way.
"You've probably never been so vulnerable since you were a baby and were dependent on your parents for a clean butt. So it makes total sense, that you, consciously or unconsciously, start to and have to rely on other people more and who is the closest person to you, who can take care of you?"
"Eddy!", Brett declared, like a six year old, who was being asked, what one plus one was.
"Exactly! So, of course, you might have new, special feelings towards him, because you need him, you lean on him and he probably does such a good job, that you feel safe with our Eddy boy."
Brett nodded without Ray being able to see him, obviously. He'd had the same thoughts back then in the park, when he had been analyzing his jealousy, so he deemed Ray's explanation as very plausible.

"Makes sense, I think", he said after a while.
"I'm good, right?"
Brett sniggered. "Yeah, not bad, really."
"So, do you want to hear my second theory, or do you think, number one might be it?"

What Brett had heard up until now hadn't been that life shattering, so Ray's second thought was probably the more... critical one. Did he want to know? Would it help, if he could rule it out, whatever it was? Maybe, but what would be the consequence, if not?
Brett hated his brain analyzing so many possibilities. In the end, he knew, it was just him chickening out and he couldn't let himself get away with this so easily! Besides, what he had felt in those moments was so strong, that Ray's first explanation didn't seem to be... enough.

"I...", Brett started.
"Yes?" Brett could hear the excitement seeping through that one word. Ray had to be dying to tell him.
"I think I'm gonna regret this, but what the hell!", Brett said.
 Ray was holding his breath on the other end.
"Spill the beans then!"
"Okay! Great! Puuhh... Brett, that's a big one and if you haven't yet come to this conclusion yourself, it might be a even bigger one than you or I think it is..."
"Enough with the heads up now! Just say what you think!", Brett almost yelled impatiently. The tension of this space between not knowing and almost knowing nearly made him combust.

"You're in love with Eddy!", Ray finally said unceremoniously.

"..."
"Brett? Did you hear, what I said?"
"....."
"Brett?"

White noise. There was simply lots of white noise in Brett's head. And his voice had just left the chat without bidding farewell.
"Hmm... So you DIDN'T think of this possibility yourself", Ray concluded out of Brett's silence.
"Ray...", Brett finally croaked.
"Oh, good! I thought you've hung up."
"There is no way..."
"Really? Brett, what you described, sounds like a massive crush to me. I don't know, if you have experienced that with your past liaisons, but this very well could be... What is the word I'm looking for?"
Brett shook his head wildly.
"Love!", Ray declared triumphantly.

"No, Ray! That can't be!"
"Why not?"
"Well, first of all, he's my best friend! Has been for ages!" Brett knew, he had to bring very good arguments to prove to Ray, and particularly to himself, that this world class violinist's theory was nonsense.
"And second, I'm straight! I've never had feelings for men. I've always dated chicks! There is no way that's changed!" And that was the truth. He never had a crush on a boy ever before. He'd find them good looking, but in a very neutral way, like one liked flowers simply because they were beautiful.

"How can you be so sure?", Ray asked, "People change, you know? Life is complicated and human beings are complex. Talk about feelings!"
"But... Also, it's Eddy we're talking about! Have you seen him?"
All beautiful, majestic, passionate, tall, cute... No! Brett blocked these thoughts as fast as they had popped up.
"He's a dork! He has a weird style, his hair is always messy and he has these weird habits like bending his back in impossible shapes, sniffing and always being late..."
"Looks like you've observed him very well."
"We live together and spend every minute together!!! Of course I know him well!", Brett shouted and was slowly losing his mind and patience.

"Shhh, Bretty Brett. Look, I know it's big news and all and maybe you need time to process everything. But are you really sure, it would be so unlikely that you are... falling in love with him?"

Brett wasn't sure of anything at all anymore! Nothing made sense and he felt like, his world had decided to jump into a food processor. His head hurt from all the wild feelings and thoughts rushing through his brain.

"Ray, it can't be!", Brett whispered desperatly, as if this sentence could change the reality of what he felt or didn't feel.

"Brett, look! I'm not saying, it's true. That is for you to find out. All I'm saying, is, that it could be, based on what you've told me and I'm pretty sure, you haven't told me everything."
Brett nodded slowly.
"And it seems, that this is very unlikely for you. So maybe I'm wrong. But I think, it would be worth it for both you and Eddy, if you'd go to the bottom of this. I just gave you the two possibilites I thought of. Maybe it's something entirely different or maybe it's related to your sickness after all. I don't know. I just wish the best for you. That's why I think, it's important, that you don't run away from this."

"Okay, Ray..."
"Are you going to be fine?"
"I...", Brett was not sure at the moment, if he'd ever be fine again, but no use in worrying Ray, was there?
"I will be! Thanks for your help, Ray", Brett sighed.
"Will you keep me updated?", Ray asked sheepishly.
"With what?", Brett frowned.
"You know what! I want to know, if I'm right or not!"
Brett chuckled lightly. Trust Ray to end a conversation like this on a positive note.
"I'll try. Otherwise, you have my number."
"Yup! I'm gonna call every two days to see, how everything is developing! That's even better than the fanfics your crazy fans are writing about you guys!"
"You read those?", Brett asked, brows furrowed.
"As bedtime stories or when I'm bored at an airport."
"Shouldn't you read sheet music instead?"
"I want to have freetime too. So, think of me, when you have some juicy news to tell!"
"Hold your horses, Ray. There is hopefully and very definitely nothing of this sort going on." This sentence made zero sense, but Brett was too worked up to care.
"If you say so..." Brett could hear his stupid smirk all the way from Taiwan.
"All right, Bretty. Gotta go! I have rehearsal in a bit. Remember what I said: Don't run away from your feels!"
"Sounds super cheesy, but I'm gonna try."
"I'm serious, Brett. Your mental well being and your physical health are dependent on each other. You owe it to yourself and your friends, that you look after yourself! Most importantly, you owe it to your potential love interest!"
Brett snorted loudly at that and Ray hung up with a loud laughter.