It was 8 pm, right after dinner...

LXVI

Brett's night at the hospital was restless and for once, it wasn't the fault of his sickness. Having made a decision didn't mean his mind was at peace, apparently, though he'd really hoped that would be the case. He was tossing and turning his body from one side to the other and at the same time tossed and turned every possible outcome in his head. The clock on his nightstand showed 3:14 a.m. and he groaned when he saw, how fucking little was left from the night before a nurse would show up for their morning round, their mood way too bright for the early hour and thus annoying Brett to the max.

Telling Eddy.

Telling Eddy sounded simple, but Brett felt he'd never attempted something more complex and challenging than this.
Telling Eddy could result in two obvious consequences, which were subjects of countless love or heartbreak stories, legends, films, pieces and songs throughout millenia of human history.

Number one, the most plausible one: Eddy rejects him. Because what was there to like or love about Brett Yang? He was small, had bad eyesight and no distinctive qualities except playing the violin in a more or less decent way. Sure, he was sociable and even funny from time to time, but that was all gone since he'd gotten sick and Eddy had definitely seen the worst of him by now.

Number two, the most improbable one: Eddy returns Brett's feelings.

Both outcomes had their own small side branches of results.
If Eddy rejects him, but is otherwise "okay" with Brett having feelings for him, they could still stay friends and continue their lives more or less like before. It might be a bit awkward in the beginning and a bit, or very, painful for Brett, but with some time, it'd probably be alright. They could put this down as a one time special incident in their friendship and move on.
That would still be okay, hurtful, but something Brett was ready to face (more or less) and something he could deal with in the long run.

What he wouldn't be able to handle was, if Eddy rejects him and they can't stay friends anymore. That would destroy everything they have. Their careers, their dream, their lives. Brett would prefer a lightning striking and frying him instantly over this. Without Eddy, everything that was important to Brett would lose it's meaning. And Brett would lose himself.

In between were all the other slightly better or worse possibilities with different nuances, in which Brett would be more or less devastated. But if he'd really go through with his decision, he'd just have to man up and deal with it, or break.

But if Eddy would understand... and not only understand, but accept... what then?
They could be together like they have never before. It might unleash an energy, a creativity unseen and not experienced by either Brett or Eddy, or the world. Their business and lives would be built on a foundation of trust even stronger than the one they had now, because they'd knew none of them would one day abandon some of it or even everything to built a family of their own, leaving the other behind. Their projects might get bigger, more longterm and more ambitious...

Or maybe, there wouldn't be any big changes. Maybe, they'd live life like they did now, with a bit more intimacy, a bit more touching, a bit more warmth, closeness, love mixed in it...

Both outcomes of that same branch appeared like a dream to Brett. A dream he didn't dare to think of, because the hopes coming with it were too painful when scattered.
But oh... how deeply and absolutely happy Brett would be, if Eddy'd just slightly return what Brett was feeling for him... The thought of it made Brett want to hide under his blanket and blush like a naive teenager experiencing his first crush.

And if Eddy needed any sort of time to process all of this, Brett'd give it to him, no question! Be it weeks, months, years, as long as Eddy was willing to let Brett stay by his side, he would endure everything.