It was 8 pm, right after dinner...

XLVI

"What you reckon, Brett? Do you have an answer?"

There were some things in life Brett was certain about: bubble tea was the greatest beverage in the world, there were no shortcuts in life and if you want to get better, you need to practice.

Today, a new certainty added itself to the list.

"Yes, I think I know", Brett said quietly, to Ray and to himself.
"And?"

"I'm in love with Eddy."
"No matter the situation?"
"I guess, him caring for me and everything might have just been a trigger, but those things I feel...", he struggled to find the right terms and had to settle with bland ones in the end, "Ray, I've never felt this strongly for anyone in my life! Ever!"

There was a moment of silence before dumb Ray declared triumphantly: "I think I hear wedding bells!"
"Ray!", Brett yelled.
"Sorry, sorry! I've just seldom, if ever heard someone talk so genuinely about the feels. And a declaration like this coming from you, the king of deadpan, that's something!"
"But it still changes nothing!", Brett exclaimed and threw his unocccupied arm up in the air before he brushed through his hair. They had taken a detour just to arrive at the exact same point they'd been fifteen minutes ago and it was frustrating as hell. "I still can't tell him without risking everything and I'm probably so deep into this shit that it will take me months to get over it."
"If you're convinced you can't tell him then yes, there is nothing you can do."
"Fuck!"
"But are you really sure there is no chance he'd like you back?"
"I mean... there have been moments", Brett said, thinking back to the touches, Eddy's nimble fingers working his sore muscles, the conversations... but he put those little flames of hope out as soon as they lit up. He shook his head.
"But nah, man! No way! Eddy's straight!" He recalled his chat with Belle, but no! That'd give him grounds to hope too and if he wanted his crash (because the chance of one happening was exorbitantly high) to be as soft as possible, he just simply couldn't let his stupid heart go down that road.

"Maybe as straight as you are?", Ray said, "Not gay per se, but only for you? And even if not, Eddy is open minded and he loves you like a brother, he won't quit on you."
"How can you be so sure?", Brett asked almost inaudibly.
"I've known you both long enough and trust me when I say, I've never seen a friendship as strong as yours."
"I don't know, Ray..."
"Look, try to keep it simple: you can either tell him at some point or not. You know now that your feelings are genuine and I hope that counts for something."
"Yes! It just means I'm more screwed than ever!"
"No! It means, if you would tell him, it wouldn't be a temporary thing that passes as soon as the situation changes. It means, it's important!"

Brett pondered about Ray's words.
"This is so fucked up", he finally said, tired of all the thinking and evaluating the different (non-) options he had.
"How about, you see how things go? Just concentrate on getting better for now. I guess, you have no capacity left for organising your love life anyways, so just let things roll and if you really wanna take any steps, think about them when you're better again."
"Sounds reasonable", Brett sighed and leant into the mattress, "Thanks Ray! For hearing me out and giving me advice. Sorry for the rant."
"No worries! It's up to you, if you want to follow them."
Brett smiled. "I know. I'll think about it."
"Of course I'd love to see you and Eddy as a couple! You're already half one, so I'm pretty sure it wouldn't change too much."
"Ha ha ha", Brett made dryly.

"Do you feel better?", Ray asked, ignoring the last comment.
"Not sure... You gave me a lot to think about. And what I found out doesn't help me at all... But it felt good to say some things outloud. So, thanks again!"
"Again, no worries! Just keep me updated!"
"I might try."
"Come on! That's the least I deserve!"
"Some juicy gossip for your advice? You're cheap."
"It's valuable for me."
Brett cuckled. "Of course it is."

"Alright, Bretty bae, my boy! Thanks for the call and the sweet updates. I gotta go practise now and judging on your violin playing, you should too. Or better, get some rest and take care of yourself!"
"You too, Ray. And thanks again!"

They bid their goodbyes and hung up.

Brett sunk down flat on his bed and sighed heavily. Ray was a handful, but talking to him had helped. And he was going to take that guy's advice for now and let things roll for a bit, before he'd even decide on taking or not taking any actions.

Tired from the call and all the thinking about his next big life decisions, he rolled to the side and quickly fell asleep.

"Brett?"
A knock from the door and a soft voice called him back from a very bizarre dream, starring a lot of violins dancing the Rite of Spring.
"Mhmmm, yeah?", Brett mumbled, stretched his arms and took his glasses from the nightstand.
"I made dinner. You wanna come have some?"
"On my way!"

Eddy had brought his A game and had prepared them a very healthy meal of steamed egg and vegetables.
"Bro, I didn't even know you could cook like this", Brett exclaimed and sat down at the table, which was loaded with all those different dishes. Every one of them very much in line with Brett's diet.
"Looked it up on Youtube!", Eddy said and put two fingers on his forehead like some smart ass anime character.
"I thought you might be sick of congee, so I made you 'The Steamed Variations of Eddy Chen, opus 39'" He made a little bow and a presenting gesture with his arm. Brett snorted.
"Sounds like a very delicious symphony!" Brett looked at his friend with a soft, grateful gaze. "Thanks bro! It means a lot!"
"No worries, man!"

They dug into the food and Brett couldn't help but marvel over Eddy's new found super power!
"Dude! That's so good! Can't believe it's healthy!"
Eddy laughed. "Right? Took me forever."
"I didn't know we had those steaming thingies." Brett gestured at the bamboo steamer with his chopsticks.
"We didn't. I had to buy those."
"What?"
"They're super cheap. Can get them almost everywhere here, so I thought 'why not try?'"
"Eddy...", Brett's eyes almost got moist, "You didn't have go through all the effort just for a meal."

Eddy shrugged. "It must suck to not being able to eat properly and...", he looked at Brett with sad eyes, "You've lost so much weight already. I just want to do what I can to make sure you get the proper nutritions."
"Bro, you don't have to do this", Brett managed, very moved by how much Eddy cared for him. The other smiled.
"Just let me, okay? I even called my mum to ask, what kind of healthy foods she recommends. That's more or less the result of it."

Situations like that were the cause for Brett's heart, mind and soul to start hoping. Start thinking there might be something. Something more than he'd let himself dream of.
He cleared his throat.

"Thanks man! Really..."
"You're thanking me all the time these days", Eddy said and scooped himself another portion of the soft-as-cloud steamed eggs, "as I said: no worries! I actually like to take care of you."
"Well, you're doing a real good job."
Eddy winked. "I know!"

Brett's heart skipped a beat and he was wondering, how the hell he was supposed to not get his hopes up with Eddy Chen driving him insane at least thrice a day.