It was 8 pm, right after dinner...

CX

(talks about kinda NSFW-stuff...)

The conversation about them taking a next step didn't stop in Brett's bed, but Brett couldn't bring himself to discuss details and was determined to just let Eddy bring it up whenever he'd see fit.

Which was during breakfast half an hour later, apparently.

"So, you wanna top or bottom?"
Eddy's question was put so blatantly Brett spread half of his cereal all over the table as a caughing fit took over most part of his body for at least thirty painful seconds.
"Duuuudee!!!!"
"Brett! You okay??", Eddy asked. He'd jumped out his chair and was now patting Brett's back repeatedly with panicked features.
"If you stop being so... so graphic, I will be! Jeez!" Brett cleared his throat and Eddy laughed.
"Graphic? How have I been graphic?"
"Asking stuff like that..."
"What, the position thing?"
"What else?? Jesus!" Brett shook his head over those words spoken outloud like "position" and "top" and "bottom" and felt his cheeks heat up to a hundred degrees. It was fucking embarassing, really, how flustered Brett still got in the presence of his boyfriend, his 28 years of life apparently reduced to an age were a simple whisper of idioms describing genitals could elicit uncontrollable guffaws.

"Bretty", Eddy visibly fought hard to contain his amusement, "if we want this, this is like basic stuff we have to sort out first."
"I knooow!", Brett exclaimed and scrunched his eyes shut, "It's just fucking mortifying to talk about this!"
"Love..." Eddy started to place soft kisses on Brett's cheek and neck. Brett inhaled deeply, the scrunched up eyes relaxing instantly. Eddy whispered without breaking the contact between his lips and Brett's sensitive skin: "It's me you're talking to. And I love talking about stuff like this, real stuff, with you. Although, if you're not comfortable, we can wait. There is no rush."

Brett's breath got shallow, but through the haze of all the incredible sensations his boyfriend provided him with with only his lips, he knew that it wasn't about him not wanting any of this, or not wanting it now for that matter.
"Hmmm... You know, you make it very hard for me to not rush anything?"
Eddy chuckled. "I hope I'm not pushing you with my actions...?"
Brett dropped his head a bit so he could claim Eddy's busy lips.
"Eddy, I might be a wuss when it comes to talking about uncomfortable shit, but that doesn't mean I don't want you", Brett said slowly in between kisses.
"You already have me."
"Hmm... I know..."

"Still haven't answered my question", Eddy remarked with a wink when he made it back to his seat, his lips a very beautiful shade of red.
"Oh..." Brett must have looked very funny, because Eddy's laugh rang through the whole room upon seeing Brett's expression.
"You really don't have to answer now. Do you wanna take some time to think about it?", he offered graciously.
Brett pushed his by now soggy cereal around in the bowl.
"What about you?" Brett looked at Eddy.
"Hm? What about me?"
"What would you prefer?" Maybe he could just roll with whatever Eddy wanted? Take the easy route of not having to make a decision?

Of course, there was no such luck for Brett.
"I wouldn't mind doing either", Eddy grinned, licking his lips and sending Brett's brain to overdrive.
"Are you sure??"
"Of course! As long as it's you whom I sleep with."
Brett gulped. "Wow..."
"I like to make you speechless."
"You're fucking too good at that."
"Haha, I noticed."

So, it was up to Brett, evidently, to choose a side. Brett figured it was best to set a deadline till the evening, so he wouldn't stress about it for days on end.
Therefore, whenever there was a little gap where he had nothing particular to do or think about, that one question would pop up in his brain like a meerkat sticking his head out a hole in the ground and stare at him with expectant eyes.

Like when they went for bubble tea after practice right before lunch.
Or when they went to the gym for the first time, doing reps of exersices which gave Brett plenty of time to turn possible pros and cons around in his head while beads of sweat ran down his back.
Or when Brett got so lost in his practice he just spaced out, stopped playing in the middle of a phrase without realizing it, only to blankly stare at the white wall in their studio for way longer than he liked to admit.

What would be better? Better for them? For him? For Eddy? Was there even a better or worse (he hoped not, but who knows?) or was it just something that he had to decide on for now? How was he even supposed to do that without having any experience what he and Eddy liked? And what if the wrong decision would screw up their relationship? Make Eddy dislike him?

Needless to say, by the time Brett's self set deadline approached, his anxiety level had reached the moon and he was so nervous the chopsticks he held while eating dinner had already fallen down twice.
"Brett, are you okay? You've been out of it all day", Eddy asked, eyeing him worriedly.
As an answer, Brett slapped both his hands flat on the table, causing the chopsticks to fall down a third time. "Aaaargghhh! Alright! Fuck it! You can do me first!"

Eddy only stared at him with big eyes. "Huh?"
Brett stared back almost furiously. "You! You are going to fuck me! Happy?"
"Wha... Brett, love!" Eddy put his chopsticks down and quickly swallowed his last bite of Mapo tofu, courtesy of Eddy's cooking once again.
"You don't have to do this! You know that right?"
"Yes! I know! But I don't want to hurt you and I... let's just try it out okay? If I don't like it we can still swap. Or swap anyways, I don't care. I don't wanna think about it anymore."
"Brett, if you don't even wanna think about it we should definitely NOT do it then!"
"Noo! That's not it!", Brett yelled, all the held back pent up frustration, which had accumulated itself inside him like a hot ball ready to supernova, exploded. "I want you! I really do! I just don't want to weigh the good and bad of the two options anymore. Let's just try and see!"
Eddy gaped at him. "You sure?"
"Very!", Brett determined. He was so done with feeling uncomfortable when it came to being intimate with his love it drove him nuts. What was he? A boy shortly before hitting puperty or what?

"I have no idea how this is going to be or how any of this works. So what use is there for me to ponder about something I don't fully understand?"
"True", Eddy agreed, his head tilted while he absorbed Brett's words.
"And...", Brett breathed in deeply, "I trust you! I trust you more than I trust me to not hurt you. So you do it first and then teach me how."

Seeing Eddy blush weirdly made Brett's heart lighter and after his little outburst, Brett did feel a bit more self-confident. It was like something had let go of him, slid off his shoulders and Brett knew, they had this! It was going to be fine and he was in safe hands when it came to Eddy being his partner anyway.

"Oh, Bretty...", Eddy breathed, "you know I don't have any experience in this either right? But..." He leaned closer and gently cupped Brett's cheek. "I'm going to make sure you're fine. I feel so honored that you trust me and I really wanna do right by you. And if you don't like it, we'll do what we always do or you can try to top. Whatever you want."
Brett smiled a calm, peaceful smile.
"I love you."

Eddy's radiating beam let all the stress Brett had experienced today suddenly seem worth it.

"I love you too."