But It Isn't Right (Duskwood Fanfic)

Confessions

Jake and I stood outside the door to the room where Phil was sitting, our arms wrapped tightly around one another. I was shaking, and so was Jake. "Let me go instead of you," he begged. "Maybe I can--"

"You know that won't work," I told him, again. "It has to be me." We shared one long, desperate kiss. "I love you," I told him. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

"I love you, Li." He watched sadly as I took off both of my rings and my bracelet and handed them to him. Then after one last kiss, he went to join Alan, while I turned to the door and the technician opened it for me with a swipe of his access card. I took a deep breath, told myself this was just another performance, and stepped inside.

"Well, well, well," Phil drawled, looking me up and down. "Look who finally came crawling back to me. What happened, baby? Did you get lonely with Richy in prison? Now that he isn't getting out anytime soon, I'm sure you've had some time to think about how inadequate he is, and you've come looking for a real man."

I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't expecting him to still think that I was with Richy. Hadn't his sources updated him? "Richy and I haven't been together for a while now," I replied.

He chortled. "He was that bad in bed, huh? You had to kick him to the curb? Or was it that you didn't want to wait for him to get out?"

I shook my head. "None of that is true. And I would have no idea how he is in bed, as our relationship never progressed to that point. So, you trashed my loft for no good reason."

Phil opened his mouth. "You're lying."

I leaned forward, eyes on his. "I'm not lying. Look at my face and see the truth of it. I never slept with Richy."

He leaned forward as well, inspecting me, and I held his gaze, though my stomach turned. "Well, I'll be damned. He held out for longer than I would, only to be turned away in the end. I have to give that poor little boy some credit. Although, for you, I would've waited a long time, too." He winked at me.

I leaned back. This, I had a script for. "How long, exactly?" 

He looked at his wrist, where a nonexistent watch might be. "We're going on almost four and a half years now, baby, and I'm still waiting." He licked his lips. "But if you wanna end my torture, just say the words and I can make some arrangements."

I pretended to think about it. "I don't know about that. I mean, surely you didn't wait for Jennifer very long, did you? You guys were a couple, after all. We never even got that far."

Phil smiled, but I caught the anger simmering behind his eyes. "Why are we talking about Jennifer? We should be talking about us."

"Because I want to know what I'd be getting myself into," I persisted. "I know you've slept around a lot, Phil, but that doesn't mean you're any good. You don't have to prove yourself much to sweet-talk a woman into your bed for a single night, right? You said Jennifer and I were similar. So there's a good chance that how you treated her is how you'll treat me." I sat and waited quietly.

"I was good to Jennifer," Phil replied, strain evident on his face. "I loved her." 

"How much did you love her? More than you love me?"

"No. I love you far more," he insisted.

"Then you weren't as nice to her as you were to me?"

"Of course, I was nice to her. She was my girlfriend. I gave her everything."

"Like what?" I pushed. "What did you give her?"

"Besides my undying love? Romance. Every chance I had, I brought her flowers. I held her hand, told her how beautiful she was."