But It Isn't Right (Duskwood Fanfic)

Talking

I hated the wounded look in Jake's eyes. "Please don't be upset."

"I did not say I am upset."

"But you're acting like you are," I commented.

"I do not wish to control you." I had noticed over time that the more Jake put his guard up, the shorter his sentences, and the more stilted and formal his tone was.

"You're not controlling me. I'm just asking you to be honest about how you feel." He sat staring at nothing, his shoulders slumped. "If you don't talk to me, then I'm going to have to get a group deal on therapy," I snapped. "Because I won't let my relationship with you fall apart while I'm trying to help my friend."

"But he is more than a friend, Li. And you are far more than a friend to him." Well, at least he was talking, even if the forlorn attitude was killing me right now.

"Jake, nothing will happen between Richy and me. Nothing has happened between us at any point since I met you. So why would I let that change, now that you and I are so close to getting married? Do you honestly think that spending a couple of hours per week with him is going to make me forget about you? Do you trust me so little?" When he didn't answer, it was like a jab to my chest. "Oh my--you don't trust me around him? Is that why you spy on me when I'm talking to my friends, and why you hid when I was talking outside to Richy at Jessy's wedding? You don't trust me, so you have to keep an eye on me and make sure I won't betray you."

Jake turned and looked at me. "What? No. I told you already--Li," he said placatingly, "I am sorry. You know that I get jealous over you, and overprotective. Your relationship with Richy is my weak spot because I know how much he loves you. I do trust you. However, I do not trust him. He assured me that he would step back and allow us to be together without interference because you made your choice, and it was not him. He broke his word, and therefore I do not know what else he will attempt in order to have his way."

"But he can't have his way, Jake. Because I'm not changing my mind. I'm in love with you, and we're getting married. This is just me helping him understand that and live with it. But if it's going to ruin things between us, then--"

"It will not," Jake assured me. "Again, I apologize. I get a bit crazy when it comes to you, though I think you're already aware of that. But I'll get used to this, and it will not damage what we have. We are stronger than that. Can you forgive me?"

I threw my arms around his neck. "Of course. I know this will be tough on you. It won't be easy on me, either. But Richy needs this. He was just so broken when I went to see him. I'm afraid Thomas is right about the depression, and he needs help desperately. I can't live with the thought of him hurting so much, or maybe even wanting to--to..."

"You need not say it. I understand. I truly do. We will help Richy."

"Thank you," I whispered, kissing him. "You're the best fiance ever."

Days later, Richy and I were at our first appointment with Jen, the psychiatrist that Jake picked out. Richy trudged into the office with me, and we filled out a bunch of forms. Then we sat in the silent waiting room. "This is humiliating," Richy whispered. He wouldn't even look at me since I picked him up. I studied the dark circles under his eyes, the hollows of his cheeks. He still didn't seem to have gained back the weight he lost in prison.

I put my arm around his shoulders. "I'm here with you, Richy. I only want what's best for you," I said quietly. He hugged me back, and I saw the tears dripping from his face. The therapist's door opened and called to us. We went inside and sat together, our legs touching. Jen introduced herself, and then confirmed each of our names. Richy kept his head hung low, and I rubbed his back, trying to calm him.