But It Isn't Right (Duskwood Fanfic)

Framed

TW: Discussion of sexual assault in this chapter (just discussion, not a graphic depiction of an actual assault though some details are present). Stop at the break (looks like this ~~~~~) if it will upset you.

"What, you're going to do this over the phone?" Richy asked.

I put the phone down. "What do you suggest?"

"Our first appointment with Susana is in two days. Why don't you take that to meet with Jake?"

"You want me to spend a whole hour with that guy?"

Richy took my hand. "You don't need to spend a whole hour with him. But I think you should do this in person, and maybe it would be easier if someone else was there with you."

"Richy, will you tell me why this is so important to you?"

"Because this is an important decision. And I think you need closure. You haven't even seen him since almost a week before all this happened. Don't you think you should have some sort of goodbye, at least?"

"Are you worried that I'm going to go back to him and send you away? Because that won't happen. I promise you that."

"Don't, please don't promise. Not until you know for sure, and I don't think you can do that until you see him."

"Fine, but we're talking about this more later. Will you at least  come with me?" I asked. 

Richy looked at me with sad eyes. "I don't think that I should. This has to be between the two of you. But...there's a diner across the street. I can wait for you there."

I let out a breath. "OK." I called Susana; she was fine with it, and then texted Jake. He agreed. Two days later, I looked at Richy standing across the street from me and then walked into Susana's waiting room at exactly our appointment time. I was already uncomfortable, but even more so to find Jake's large frame taking up most of the space.

"Li," he said, staring at me intensely. I'm sure I looked skinny and frail since the last time he saw me, and it suddenly made me self-conscious in a way that I never worried about with Richy. He took a step toward me, but I backed up until I was against the door. 

"Susana? I'm here!" I called out, through the crack in her office door. I was not interested in making small talk. She appeared at the door.

"Oh, hi, Li. Jake and I have already been introduced. Come on in."

I looked around her office and realized her couch was the only place to sit down. With Jake on it, there was barely room for me. I squeezed myself against the armrest to keep from having any accidental contact with him. I was starting to feel a bit nauseous already, and I wished Richy was with me.

"Li," Susana said, "You're OK. You're safe here, and you can leave anytime. Take some deep breaths with me, and then use whatever your favorite grounding exercise is if you need to."

I would not be using my favorite grounding exercise, which was singing, in front of Jake, because I didn't want to give him the privilege of hearing me sing right now. So I just took some breaths instead. I refused to look at Jake and he sat quietly, but I could feel his eyes on me. "Tell him to stop looking," I pleaded with Susana, tears leaking from my eyes.

"Jake, can you step outside for a moment, please? I need to help Li. I'll get you when she's ready." He got up and left, and I felt like I could breathe again. His presence, just him looking at me, had sucked all of the air from the room.

"Do you feel unsafe with him here?" Susana asked me. I nodded my head vigorously.

"Can you tell me why?"