Part 46

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"Lost and insecure..
You found me, you found me.
Lying on the floor..
Surrounded ,surrounded !"
-You found me. Fray

Sanyukta hadn't moved an inch since where Randhir left her last. It was the same feeling all over again, the time when he walked away two years before and today. It hurt all the same or even more! She yelled a bit out frustration and then cried and then sat looking at nothing..thinking about the last time he had walked away ..

FB :

"Randhir why? Why does it happen with me always? When I go to do something good?! Why does it go all wrong" she had sobbed holding on to his arm when Randhir came and sat before her on the cliff..

"Why are you upset ? You got what waited for, you achieved what you wanted Sanyukta, you won the dream team competition!! " he said looking at her like it was the most normal thing ,as if Parth hadn't been admitted to the hospital..

"What Randhir?!" She was lost. "All these years Sanyukta, you tried to prove that you were better than me, and today you've proved it, you're better than me. I could never take someone's life to win , I could never kill someone!" His eyes cold,his tone sounded like he had lost in love, that his love let him down..

"I wanted a simple girl to get married to, and I thought you were that, loving and caring, and you do love and care, but only for yourself! And I can't be with you, I hope you get all the happiness and success you want, have a good life"
And he had walked away..
.......:
These words resonated in her being, till today, everyday , and she used to try hard. Very hard to run away from this sound, but it never left. The impact never died down ,the pain never lessened. Yes, she would forget it for a while when she kept herself occupied,but this feeling of letting her friend down, her passion taking away the one person she loved more than life,it always stayed.

Laying her head on the corner of the bed, as she sat on the floor she cried. Simply cried hoping that pain would subside. That today wasn't the second time he walked out, that she couldn't have made him leave again, that all her hopes which even she didn't ever know existed, felt crushed. "Randhir ..I don't .. Want it.." She kept repeating into emptiness.

Sleep would take over her senses for a few minutes and she would wake up with a jerk, holding onto the bed sheet ,crushing it, repeating those words, calling out to him, wanting him to come back. Yes she hadn't  forgiven him, yes they needed to discuss a hell lot, yes dealing with Aryan and Shanaya should've been the priority in this moment, yes she knew she needed to wipe her tears off and face the hard truth. He left. And she needed to move forward.

But she couldn't even physically move a limb. She felt numb. Moving ahead emotionally was a whole other challenge! She questioned what she truly wanted and it was just one name that she kept saying, kept thinking , kept dreaming of and waking up to. She picked up his letters which were now scattered all over the floor..reading them for the nth time, her tears had now soaked most of the writeups, but it didn't matter, she knew them by now. By heart.

Aryan walked into her room after he had waited out the night.. Numerous calls and a restless sleep.. When he entered in, her state scared the shit out of him. She looked so immobile , so pale, so expressionless. She looked like death and his ran to her like he had only a few seconds to save her. "Sanyukta , oh my God , what happened here? Are you okay? Cmon sit up!"

He said concerned and tried to lift her up and place her on the bed but she didn't budge. She didn't even look up at him as he walked in..that's when Aryan knew he had to put in his all to make her sleep somehow.. He lifted her up in his arms and lay her down and she still didn't look at him "Sanyukta please talk to me! Say something! Please you're freaking me out!!" He asked holding her cheeks, trying hard to make her respond..

At this point he was almost convinced that she needed to see a doctor, her condition didn't seem fine and her body was heating up already. "I'm getting the doctor,okay? Will you please close your eyes and try to sleep.." He begged!!

"Randhir.. No I can't, he'll leave me, I can't close my eyes ever..I can't "she sobbed looking at the ceiling now. Not bothering how it would affect Aryan or for that matter anyone. Right now she feared this morning more than anything she ever had.

Looking at her face, her feelings, her love for him, he wanted to leave her alone but he just didn't have the heart to! He knew she needed someone right now, he didn't know what had actually happened , but his love and care for her were unconditional. Sure someday he had hoped that she would love him back, but that looked far fetched at the moment..

"Sanyukta no one is leaving you. See I'm here, please look at me..stop crying.." He said and then hugged her frame tightly as she lay there. It didn't help as she cried some more, harder now..

And that's when the doors flew open. That's when her nightmare knocked upon her,in a situation that couldn't get worse.

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