Lightning

Chapter VI

.Age 11.

          Well since the wedding not much has happened. I am still bouncing back and forth between my parents. Dad is still living with Grandma, hence so are we. I graduated from elementary school. I am one day away from starting at Middle School South. And Mom is still married to Jessie. So nothing out of the ordinary. Although I must say, I didn't realize how much Jessie drank until we moved in with him. He drinks a lot. And I mean a lot a lot.

School starts tomorrow and I've done everything I can to prepare, but I'm still really scared. What if I don't make any friends because they all think I'm gay again. Not this time. I will walk into school with my head  Held high, and force my voice to be deeper than what it really is. That is what I will do. Anything to avoid the rumors again, and in a bigger school it would be way worse. Things with bullying were not the best in my old school. This boy named James and I used to be friends until he heard the rumors. Ever since he had become my biggest bully. Everyday was a new name. Fag, Queer, Homo. Every name for gay you could think of. It became so bad at school that I essentially went mute. Except for Carlee of course. I wanted people to like me, to not call me names. 

I didn't know that I didn't have to change who I was and how I acted to make new friends. Friends that to this day 10 years later, I still hold dear to me.

THE NEXT DAY....

My Dad woke me up to get ready for school. I climbed out of bed and put on a black shirt with white guitars that I have been waiting two weeks to wear, along with black and blue shoes. I brushed my teeth and combed my short blonde hair. I looked in the mirror and saw my grey eyes had bags under them. My skinny face on top of it make me look ill. I walked out of the bathroom and walked into my bedroom directly to the right of the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and shut the light off.

"Okay, I'm ready!" I said grabbing my backpack filled with brand new school supplies.

"Alright let's go." He said opening the door for me.

My Grandma had woken up to see us off to school. It was my first day of sixth grade and Alex's first day of Kindergarten. After saying goodbye to Grandma we walked to the green Ford Focus that Dad and Grandma shared.

I am not going to school yet. Dad is dropping me off at Moms so her and Aunt Jenna can see me off to middle school and see Alex off to Kindergarten.

When we got to Moms I walked in to see her and my Aunt sipping coffee at the table waiting for us. My stomach was turning, I hadn't eaten anything all morning because I have been feeling nauseous. I am terrified. I am going to a new school, middle school. None of my friends from elementary are going to be there with me. I have to start over. Be someone else so I don't get bullied anymore. I am tired of it. I've already heard horror stories about middle school. It's not just one classroom anymore. I have six different classes and a locker. What if I can't find my class? What if I can't get my locker open? What if I get lost?

Dad left and it was just us four. I don't know where Jessie is, and frankly I don't care.

"Are you excited?" Aunt Jenna asked.

"Not really. I am kinda hungry." I said picking my short nails.

"Did you eat before you came here?" Mom asked.

"No, I wasn't feeling good."

My stomach always hurts. Ever since I can remember I have always had issues using the bathroom. The cramps make me scream and cry from pain. But I haven't been to the doctor for it. I don't think it's that bad yet.

"See this is why I want the kids here. He can't even feed them." I hear Mom whisper to Aunt Jenna's ear. I ignore her comment. I wanted to snap back and say "Well you can't even be faithful so I guess you're even." but I kept my comment to myself.

She makes me a bowl of cereal and I refuse.

"Eat it, now!" She barked.

As soon as I took a bite....it all came back up.

I had vomited on the table and on my new shirt. Right before my first day.

"Oh shit!" My Mom yelled.

"I'm sorry, I said I didn't wanna eat." I cried.

"It's fine. Take off your shirt and I'll wash it really quick."

I did as I was told and she threw my shirt into the wash.

"Mom I don't want to go to a new school. Why can't I go to central with everyone else." I asked.

"We've been over this already." She sighs.

"We live to far now. You can walk to this school so it will be easier plus I need you to pick up your sister after school."

I am not her parent all of the rest of summer Mom and Jessie yelled at me to take my sister to the park. I didn't mind it once in a while but I hate being outside, I hate the sun and I hate summer. If I told Alex no she would go and cry to our Mom and Jessie would yell at me not her.

"But it's not fair. I won't know anyone." I begged.

"Life is not fair. You will make new friends." She gives me a smile as she transfers my shirt to the dryer.

"It's not as easy as it sounds, especially for me Mom!"

"Why's that. I had no problem making friends when I was your age." Aunt Jenna intervenes.

Her piercing blue eyes show themselves over her black coffee mug. Her blonde hair in a messy bun and her Ralph Lauren shirt wrinkled. 

"No one likes me...forget it." I hang my head.

"I am sure that's not true, now here is your shirt and your Aunt is gonna take you to school for your first day. But after that you are walking to and from school." She said.

I put my shirt back on and without another word I get in my Aunts car and begin my first day of 6th grade.

....

I walked in the big blue double doors to reveal my new school. The halls were wide and walls were covered in blue and gold stripes I am assuming those are my new school colors.

I make my way through the halls looking at all the strange new faces until I find my locker. I do the combination and throw my oversized backpack into the tiny locker. Our lockers were about 5 feet tall and 1 foot wide. Not a lot of room. They were a faded blue color, obviously needed a new paint job.

I look at my schedule and see that my first class is Math with Ms. Hodge.
I wander the halls in search of room 108. When I bump into someone causing both of our books to crash to the ground.

"Watch where the fuck you're going asshole." She yelled.

I dove to the ground to help her gather her books.

Her short brown hair resembled a Bob in some ways. Her hair matched her Carmel colored eyes.

After I handed them back she gave me a dirty look and walked away.

Yeah...I am not gonna like it here.