Lightning

Chapter XXXVI

.Age 19. Part 9.

I'm free. I'm finally free. No more traveling an hour away, no more hospital visits, no more bullshit. That's what I thought.

Since Haven didn't have her licence I drove her to work and picked her up. This pissed me off greatly, only for the fact of she is almost twenty years old, living on her own and does not have a licence. But she and Sawyer are going to be the ones paying the bills now. The least I can do is drive her to work and pick her up. Haven had told me if there are any days that I can't just let her know and she will have her Mom come get her. 

In the first month of my unemployment I got some new animals. Ferrets. I have a all white ferret named Shiva and a Racoon looking one named Nix. They are the sweetest girls but oh dear Lord do they shit a lot. 

Sawyer and I had finally had sex. The night of our engagement. It was wonderful. I have never felt more close with a person. I was so madly in love with him. Until I started getting a weird feeling. Like there was something he wasn't telling me.

After we had done it for the first time we both wanted to do it more and more. That slowed way down around late October.

OCTOBER..

Sawyer and I had just gotten done having sex. A little too much information, I know. He can last a long time and normally I can't last as long as he can, but I always offer to help him out, If you know what I mean. He sometimes says yes, but majority of the time it's a 'no' or 'I'm good.' While Haven was at work one afternoon we did it. I finished first and asked if he wanted help. He said 'no.' I was out of cigarettes so I walked up the street to 7 eleven. When I came back the front door was locked. I had my keys so I unlocked it. I walked in and heard a deep moan come from the bedroom. I had been gone fifteen minutes tops and he was watching porn, getting off. I got mad and went for another walk. I wasn't mad that he was watching porn, I was upset because it made me feel less attractive to him. I offered to help him and he said 'no.' I then come home and he was watching someone else to get off. Was I not enough? I guess that's where it stated. When I should have started paying more attention. We have the Evanescence concert next month and I am so pumped. I have been wanted to see them live for as long as I can remember. I was mad at Sawyer sure, but I got over it fairly quickly.

NOVEMBER. 

I  am going to see Evanescence tomorrow in Chicago. Sawyer and Haven were both at work. My stupid ass truck started having issues so I told Haven I could no longer drive her to work. She got pissed and threw a fit but whatever. Don't like it? Get your licence. Her and her family had been ganging up on me because I still didn't have a job, not for lack of trying.  Haven is never really home. She always spends time over at her Moms. Always staying the night. Haven had said she would start doing the grocery shopping to help us out. Sweet right? No. She had good intentions but all she would buy was junk. No meat, She refused to buy meat because it was too expensive. She was starting to really piss Sawyer and I off. Yes the apartment was technically hers as well but she was never there. I would always clean up after her. She would have a glass of juice and a bagel before going to work, okay fine. When she was done she would put the paper towel that was holding the bagel in the cup and leave it on the coffee table for me to clean. She had also accumulated some animals. She had her guinea pig, a gerbil, a betta fish and two mice. Guess who took care of them.

With her staying at her Mother's all the time she was never home to take care of them. It was always a text to me saying...

"Staying at Moms for a few days. Can you feed the animals for me and I'll clean the tanks when I get home?"

I did as she wanted but when a week passed and she still wasn't  home I didn't really have a choice but to clean the cages.

Haven and I have always been the best of friends, but lately I wanna strangle her. I had not been feeling good the one day. She came home after work and began talking to me in the kitchen.