Lightning

Chapter XV

.Age 17. Part 1.

Details have been changed due to business and corporations privacy acts due to legality reasons.

     Some time had passed since I started talking to Dan. Within that time I had moved back into my Moms house, I was back on the alternating weeks. I missed my Mom and wanted to spend more time with her. I was hoping that the space I put between the two of us would have helped but sadly it did not. I didn't want to break her heart again and move back out but nothing had really changed. Our arguments got worse and worse. I feel as though we are too much alike to stay under the same roof. 

   Dan and I had stopped talking for about a month and that's when I started doing the worst thing a seventeen year old could do. Since Dan had gone ghost and my attempts to find a job kept failing, I needed some money, My health had not been the best and I was secretly going to the Urgent care down the road. I used meetme to my advantage and started finding guys close to me that would pay for 'services'. While at my Dads and Moms I would hit up some guys that wanted some fun and gave them a price and a location. There is a park around the corner from my Dads that no one really visits past 8 o'clock at night. I would simply tell my Dad I was going for a walk and would be gone for a hour or two at a time. These men were nothing special to me, merely a paycheck. The one thing I never did was give any of these men my virginity, that was always off limits but that didn't stop them from requesting other things. What drove me to this you ask? Well with Dan M.I.A and me still dealing with the Kyle problem I felt alone. I needed some sort of attraction. The money part came when we all went to go see a movie. Lexi, Kyle, Tisha and I went to go the movies but I had a problem getting in. I didn't have a ID, all I had was a school one and that did not list my age. I had kept asking my Dad for an ID but he always said it was a waste of money because I was getting my license next year. Getting my tattoo was okay with a birth certificate but now they require a ID, which I do not have. I also wasn't paying for my ticket and Lexi said that they were seeing the movie regardless if I got in or not. Following all that I knew I needed money, a lot of money. I had grown up poor. Never really having a whole lot of money. My parents did what they could, I don't blame them but wish I had something.

After a while I started accumulating regular clients I would meet up with and do my job. So to speak. I know I had to be careful, I wrote all of their names down in a little black book of mine. All of their info went into this book. Their families names, where they worked. Everything. Just to protect myself in case something were to happen. My own personal client list. I had dirt on over sixty men ranging from ages 17 to 58.

As I started making more and more money the easier life got. But I always had that shame held over me, what I was doing was wrong, not just morally but legally. I needed to have standards. Kyle, Morgan and Haven all knew what I was doing. I had to tell someone so why not 3 of my closest friends. They were so disappointed in me and I couldn't blame them. I was disappointed in me too.

After trying to make living with Mom again work it came time for me to leave again. This time for good. I love my Mom but I felt as though we got along better when I wasn't living there. Sad really that my Mother and I had to be separated to get along. But I cannot keep pretending everything is okay when Jessie acts like an asshole and I somehow get in trouble for it.

After I moved back into my Dads my junior year of high school started. One more year and I am out of here. I have been thinking about what career I want to go into and honestly I am thinking of massage therapy. One year of schooling and not the best money but I get to help people. Maybe I can make up for all the mistakes I have made.

January.

Happy birthday to me. Its January 5th and it's my 17th birthday. For my birthday gift from my Dad I am getting my first tattoo. A symbol from Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning returns. On my forearm. Nothing special happened really. Just the tattoo I was excited for. But it wouldn't be until the end of the month. That's okay, I can wait.

April.

April is here and it is almost time for the Junior Physics assignment. The cardboard boat regatta. Basically our teacher is giving us a shit ton of cardboard and we are to build a boat out of it and race it across the pool in our school. My group was Carlee and a newly found Family member. Emily. Emily was related to one of Jessie's cousins so in a way we are somewhat related. We agreed that we would meet at my house to build the boat. We had the neighbors garage in case it rained and the tools to get it done. Then while boat building Carlee caught on to something that I never thought she would guess. We were talking about Kyle and about the girl he was dating at the time when she asked the question that stopped my heart.

"What if you end up liking him or something?" She asked just kidding around.

I said nothing, I just stood there and stared at her. Eyes wide.

"Oh my god." Emily said.

"You do?" Carlee said surprised.

I nodded yes not being able to speak.

"Awww that's so cute my little bitch is growing up and liking boys." She said petting my blonde hair.

They both laughed and even got me to crack a smile. I still couldn't believe she got it. She figured it out. Little did I know. Kyle would soon know too.

A week later Carlee had to take care of somethings after school. Kyle had dropped Emily and I off at my Dads so we could still work on the boat. On the way there Morgan and I were messaging each other and we both agreed that I have kept it in long enough. It was time Kyle knew how I felt. Morgan said she would tell him but I told her not until I was ready and certainly not right now. He was driving and I was in the backseat with Emily. She said okay and dropped the subject.

While working on our boat that very same day I got a call from Haven. I was painting so I ignored the call. 5 more calls later from Morgan and Haven each I finally answered.

"Hey I am busy what's up?" I asked.

"Okay you are gonna get a call from Kyle." Morgan said.

"Why?" I asked, heart beating rapidly.

"We told him." Haven said.

"You...you what!" I yelled.

This cannot be happening. He is going to hate me. What will he say. He will probably never talk to me again. Sure he knew I was into guys now but I never said I liked or even Loved him. GOD he is going to think I am crazy.

I swallow hard trying to contain the rapid throbbing in my throat and chest.

"And? Is it bad?" I asked.

It took them a moment to respond.

"No, not bad at all." Morgan said.

I could almost feel the smile on her lips.

I hung up the phone and my mind ran ragged. Could he like me back? I had my suspicions but that's all they were. Will I have a boyfriend today? If they say it's not a bad thing then what could happen?

My phone rang again. Jesus I just got off the phone with them. What could they want.

I looked down at my phone to show not Morgan or Havens photo. But Kyles.