𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

9: Scars

"The marks human leave are too often scars."- John Green, The Fault In Our Stars.

Rose's POV:

Brutal, breathtaking, mind poisoning pain.

Benumbing, agonizing, fiery pain.

Pain.

Agonies.

Anguish.

Distress.

They varied. There were different kinds of them.

There's one kind of pain when you accidentally prick your finger in a sharp object. The pain that comes with that, is sudden, vague, but is very agonizing with a savage aftereffect.

And then there's the pain when you hit your limbs into something. The pain you would feel would be numbing. This kind of pain doesn't go away soon. It might seem faded, but it's a dull ache. It will let you know it's presence from time to time.

Do you remember that one time when you slipped in the bathroom while singing? Didn't it feel like that someone was crippling you? But then, you decided to get stronger and get up, silently cursing yourself for being weak.

But the pain stayed. It never went away.

And then comes the absolutely fiery, burning pain. When your skin gets torn and chasm, you should feel that kinda pain.

As a child, I had faced many pains, many agonies. I had met pain, embraced it and at one point let it dominate me, consume me into it's wallowed depth.

There was a time, when I began to accept the pain that came with living. It was a price to pay for living and I had to accept it.

But I wasn't accustomed to it.

I could never get accustomed to it, even though I tried.

Pain played me like a puppet, controlled me for the six years of my life.

Do you know what is the most agonizing, mind numbing pain?

The agony of the soul, the scars that gets embedded into one's very being.

Bodily pain heals, time treats the wounds and maybe leaves a nasty mark or maybe doesn't. But the scars that impale our wounded souls, they don't have a cure. They just stay there as a reminder and sometimes gnaws and claws inside us, to be let free.

We bear the soul and the wounds along with it.

I was traumatized by both physical and mental pain.

The constant pain was nagging me, mocking me and groping me again and again, all I could do was take it, silently.

Everything hurt as I laid in the solemn bed.

The freezing chamber seemed to increase my pain, doubling it up, but the pain I was feeling inside my soul, was far more agonizing.

I lied there, unanimated, frozen. Like a used rag doll.

My eyes faced the ceiling, but I wasn't looking.

Tears fell like a forbidden waterfall as I remained still, unmoving.

If someone would take a look at me right now, they would surely mistake me as a life sized doll.

A used, tattered, life sized doll.

I stopped begging and writhing long ago, knowing that nothing would come out of it.

After counting 10 whips, I didn't count anymore. I just lied there, motionless, accepting the pain.

My body shut itself down and all I could see was a blur of different colours.