𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

22: The Death of the Stars

"Scars are just another kind of memory."

― M.L. Stedman, The Light Between Oceans

I have decided that the torture ends after a while. ;)

Rose's POV:

The scars that blinds me, the wounds that run deep into my soul....

I wanted this pain to end, and when I thought it was ending, it was not.

Why me?

Why?

What have I ever done?

My past flowed around me, dancing like a wild caress, surrounding me like a myriad of wave, mingling along with the ocean of present, wallowing me into a sea of hauntingly painful memories.

I was trapped in it, I had no way out.

What was left of my white in the grey, had now completely turned into black.

There was no lucidity inside my soul, except for the memories of my mom.

Why did I think like that?

You see, years ago, when I was shattered, unsheltered and completely broken, this beautiful Spanish woman picked me up. She cared for me like a gardener cared for a broken sapling. She nurtured me, kept me in light and let me fill myself with rays of hope. She gave me hope, she was the reason that I could overcome the trauma. I did have nightmares, but they faded away into the current of never stopping time.

I was healing.

But I was robbed off the same hope that my mother nurtured me with, just in two weeks. Mama had always reminded me to believe in myself, never degrade myself and I did that. But that hope died, slowly in front of my eyes.

And I watched as the small light I had become accustomed to, diminished and faded away in the shadows of demons.

I had no hope to live, but then again, was there any hope to begin with?

Hope is like a piece of glass, once shattered, never mended.

The night wind caressed my form soothingly, almost reassuringly. At one point it didn't even feel like the wind anymore.

It was my mother's reassuring touch.

I woke up with a scream. I just had a nightmare.

"Honey!" My mom rushed in, her face full of panic. I cried harder upon seeing her sad expression. I had that nightmare again.

"Oh no sweety!" She ran towards me and engulfed me in a hug. Her warmth permeated me immediately, a feeling of safety and reassurance calming my nerves like water calming a raging fire.

I cried harder, I didn't know what happened with me, but whatever happened, I never wanted it to happen ever again. I would rather die, rather than experiencing that feeling ever again.

"Shh.... it's okay honey, I'm here...."

She was there for me.

I wrapped an arm around my numb, naked form.

My body worked as if it was on autopilot. I sat up and carried my battered form to the bed. I let my tortured form on the soft cushion.

Shattered.

That was how I felt right now.

I felt broken and shattered.

I didn't want to feel like that.