𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

79: Missing Him

Play the song.

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."

― Nicholas Sparks

Rose's POV:

When one's soul is dying, even breathing hurts a lot.

Even living hurts a lot.

Another gasp of tears escaped me as I leaned closer to the window, biting my fingers.

Everything seemed to gray- like a splash of black and white; cascading down into a dull color.

The world that shone radiated light and rays- bled ash within a span of a day.

It had been a whole day. We were returning from the manor premises, collecting our remaining items I had left behind a day ago on a whim. Calissa joined and mama said we will be heading to Oxford the day after.

But my mind registered only one thing.

Marienne wasn't there.

Was I hoping to see him?

Dusts formed, covered my memories and then a gust of wind blew- taking them with a drift. I hovered, into the middle of nothingness, just like a mirage of a chimera- but dead inside, gasping, anticipating- holding onto the last straw of what was left of me.

My hands were quivering. I felt as if I was in the middle of a sweltering hot summer, but the car AC showed the temperature to be 17 degrees. My legs felt numb, as if they had carried me through desserts.

I closed my eyes, letting the lingering drop of the tear fall. The city lights seemed so dull, so heartbreakingly lusterless.

What happened to them?

Days ago they seemed so joyous, so colorful- so agonizingly beautiful. But now they just seemed bland.

A hot breath escaped me as my eyes stung. My baby was awfully quiet too. I couldn't feel any movement.

"It will be okay...." I felt Calissa's warm hand grasping my cold ones that laid idly at the side of my numb body.

It was comforting.....

But it didn't have the same warmth as his.

It was not the same.

I let out another breath.

'It will be okay....'

The dust of the time flew, caressing my form. I was floating in the midst of it, existing as a shell of an existence.

'It will be okay.'

Those words were meant to reassure me. Those words were meant to comfort me. But I was not okay.

Marienne was a part of a beautiful picturesque memory. He possessed an important part of my book. If I tear him out, I will remain incomplete.

He was a beast, but somehow, in the span of time, he had become my mess.

My beast.

Those chapters, each of them were like a beautiful poem, each words, each syllables- it seemed like they were crafted carefully, beautifully. Melancholy, sadness, the ruth of happiness- everything was there.

I couldn't just forget everything.

Marienne had become a part of me.

And I, his.

Moreover, it felt like a little part of me had died down as soon as I stepped out of the manor. I left that part of me with Marienne. He stole it.

And now, I had turned into an existence.

The course of time flew, the night passed in a blur- the flowers bloomed, rain fell, the sky became gloomier, the lights- blander. The stone in my heart became heavier and heavier as I tried to bury those painful yet beautiful memories in my heart.

I let myself bask into this unbearable pain.

I miss him.

I thought I could handle being away from him.

But I miss him.

Another drop of tear fell as the night blended into a darker carapace, I could feel my body turning colder by the moment.

Sweet.... gentle.....

I could feel the sweet smell wafting through the car messing with my senses, almost numbing my pain.

I was becoming number as time passed.

"Do you smell that?" Calissa mumbled as she squinted her eyes. In a blur, I took a glance at her. Her posture was becoming more relaxed as she looked at me as if she was drunk.

We had entered into a dark alley, this road didn't have any light.

Something was calling out to me.... something soothing.... comforting.....

But the prickling pain in my heart remained.

I missed him.

I wanted to be with him.

My muscles relaxed on it's own as I glanced at the driver.

"What.... is this smell?" Calissa mumbled looking at the blonde.

"Flowers..." He mumbled shortly.

"Flowers?" Callisa questioned as if she was drunk.

Why did I feel so..... sleepy?

What?

"Wait.... stop the car....." Calissa tried to shout, but the words fell off of her lips like a jumbled, incoherent mess.

What was happening?

Marienne

"It's okay..." The driver's word rung in my ears like a soothing siren, "I won't harm you. I can't say the same about that lady."

Marienne..

My beast....

Another breath escaped me as I closed my eyes, the ache in my heart wafting, vanishing, drifting away, falling apart- pulling me along with it.....

In case you didn't know, chloroform smells sweet.

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Edited.