𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

78: Cruel

"The loneliest moment in someones life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly."

― F. Scott Fitzgerald

Marienne's POV:

It was as if my head was a boulder.

My mind swirled with thousands of emotions as I was slowly dragged into the chaos of hypnotism.

Have you ever felt that feeling where everything seemed so real, that it seemed fake? Everything was real, you can reach out and touch it- but you wouldn't be able to believe yourself.

It was almost like I had penetrated the barrier between reality and dreams. My monsters seemed more realistic than the broken, bloody rim of the stair I was holding.

Like a dry leaf of winter, I was aimless- I was clueless. The meaning of myself didn't exist anymore. Who was I, what was I- what I was feeling- whether it was a fragment of nightmares or a twisted reality. I couldn't extinguish the fire inside me- so I let it burn me, relishing in pain.

The chandelier that lit up the mansion seemed like a mirror. It was just above my head, I felt like I could see my defeated reflection if I concentrated.

I was lying down, in the middle of what felt like nothingness. I was in a mansion, but it didn't feel like home anymore.

It was like a massive skeleton without any chimera. It didn't have footsteps, it didn't have any laughter echoing throughout.

Her smell might linger in the mansion, she might be here- but it won't be long before she fades away until she becomes a memory and some pictures.

A breath like a whisper of a flying feather- escaped me as I stared at the chandelier without any emotion.

I didn't have any will power to move.

It felt like life had been drained out of me.

The glasses radiated a ray that burned my eyes, but I didn't want to blink.

The blank white walls echoed the sashaying winds, laughter and words no longer resonated in the mansion.

No matter how posh a house is, it is not home unless there's someone living in it. Even if a body is breathing, it's not living unless there is a soul in it.

She took my soul away with her.

I lost my rain.

I felte like a breathing corpse, barely surviving.

The glasses of that chandelier never looked more tempting before.

What if it fell upon me and took my life now?

There was no point of my life anyway now. I was as soulless as a dead.

How long had it been anyways? Hours?

How long had I been laying here?

How long until those medicines wear off and those voices return?

How long until life drains out of me?

It was painful, but not a physical pain. It was more like a hidden numb pain. It was more like a psychological pain.

I know I ached, I ached from craving- but still it hurt.

Sometimes, the monsters in your mind is more powerful than the wound you bear. They can destroy you, make you see things you never saw before and create a different definition of normal.

It hurts. So much.

I felt something wet sliding down from my eyes. Considering how dehydrated they were, it was shocking how they could still produce tears.