𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 [18+]

57: The Beauty of a Fragile Chimera

"I no longer see my open fields flooded far and wide with cherry blossoms and all the green sparrows have flown away."

- Tufayl Myburgh, Utopian Dystopia 2.

Warning: Mention of Rape, self harm.

I pined pandemonium, I pined destruction; even though I knew my soul would not be able to survive it.

Rose's POV:

The cacophony of night blended into the carapace of the opaque sky, the hoots of the nocturnal intermingled with the murmurs of shivering dry leaves- hearkening the dead of the night. The moon shied away, hiding itself behind the conglomeration of the grey clouds

Something warm, something wet ran down my cheeks, I was shivering.

I stared into his azure eyes, unmoving, unflinching. I watched as his pupils dilated, it was as if a rivulet streamed in his eyes.

He stared at me, frozen, motionless, as if, someone had robbed him of his last shred of vanity and breath. His skin became paler, almost a ghostly shade.

It was hard to talk about it, to even think about it.

It happened 23 years ago, I was 6 back then, barely conscious of what was happening to me. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to recall the whole ordeal even if I tried to.

The memories were deeply embedded into my mind, like stubborn scars. The events were blurry, hazy- I couldn't even remember his face. I only recall his mustache and the hungry look in his eyes as he touched me.....

But I could clearly see him in my nightmares.

I looked away from the beautiful man, not being able to bear his sight. My foster father lived in my mind and his torment had only triggered the memories.

Pain ran within my blood, deep in my veins. I was as used to it as much as I was used to my heart beating. I could feel it to the point it became tangible.

And Marienne Carlisle Victor was one of the reasons for my pain.

I clenched my fists, closing my eyes tightly, shaking my head. My mouth opened, to suck in a breath of air. Tears fell as another gust of summer breeze blew.

My mind was a jumbled mess. My body shook as I tried to suppress the painful memories. Why was he asking me this? Why was he pressing the knife deeper into my wounds that were already open?

Hadn't he done enough?

That monsters, my foster father's touch was deeply embedded into my skin. From time to time I would abrade my skin raw, just to get his touch off from there. I would stand under the scorching spray of water- to unfeel that grotesque feeling.

"D-Don't ever-" My voice shook as I opened my eyes, "Never-"

I felt a shaky, warm hand being placed over my clenched one. My eyes shot there, taking in the callous, huge hand that was quivering.

His hand covered mine completely, I could feel his harsh pulse over the back of my hand, I could feel the small staccatos of tremors that ran along his blood. I could sense how unstable his heart rate was.

I slowly looked up at him.

Tears ran down his cheek, his eyes glowing like ocean under the elegant effulgence. His mouth was slightly open as he sucked in small gasps of breath, his lower lip quivered at the intensity of the emotions he was feeling.

I stared into his eyes. I could feel my tensed fist relaxing under his touch.

"I-" He uttered, hoarsely. I could feel the misery radiating off him.