Chapter 31 - Anthony

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I'm not your Amy. Not now not anymore

I'm nursing my whiskey in my apartment. God I'm so messed up. How can it's wrong when it feels so right? Whenever I kiss Amy or make love to her, it feels like coming home.

I throw the glass to the windows. It shattered to pieces, just like my heart right now. She has her own family for fuck sake! Stop wanting her Tony! It takes two to tango. It's not only your fault. I know but I initiated it. At first I did that to make her miserable. I didn't plan to have sex with Amy. I just want to torture her. But when she started kissing me back I couldn't help myself. I want Amy. I always want her. Only her. God! I hate myself for wanting someone else's wife. I rake my hair, frustrated.

My phone rings. Meredith Underhill.

"Yes, big mouth?" I answer her.

"Jeez Tony!" She says and laughs.

I smile to myself. She is so happy since she is back with Christian. And I'm so happy for her. Even though my own love life is a clusterfuck right now

She sobers up "hey Tony, I want to ask you about new year's eve" she says slowly.

"About your countdown kiss? Yes, that wasn't PG rate at all" I say.

"Not that!" She says dryly.

I exhale "leave it Mer" I know she is talking about my rendezvous with Amy.

"Okay I'll leave it if you answer my question"

"What question?"

"Um.. how do you know she has a husband and a kid? Did you hack her phone or hack the ministry in Connecticut?"

I shake my head. Meredith and her imagination about me as James Bond. "No Mer. I saw them with my own eyes"

"Saw what?"

"Saw Amy and Henry Bloom. They were walking down the street. The boy between them, holding their hand with a happy face. Okay?" I still can feel the bitterness in my mouth.

"Okay..." Meredith says slowly. "So it's not like you are 100% sure they are a family" it's a statement.

"I'm sure! What else that can be?"

"Anything else. Walking together doesn't always mean they have to be a family, right" Meredith says matter of factly.

I exhale "what are you trying to say Mer?" I shoot her.

"I'm saying that you have to ask Amy about her relationship with whoever guy you think is her husband" she says.

"I think you are having too much time, Mer. That makes your pretty brain thinks something that is impossible"

"I think your brain is clouding with jealousy, Mr. Lockwood." She snaps back.

I exhale. "Where is Christian?"

"At the house gym with a trainer," she says. Somehow I can feel her lips pout. She is worried about Christian post surgery but the doctor clears him out. And they will shoot their new movie next month. Christian has to play a pirate. He needs to get his body in shape. Not that he's not in shape right now. But the director planned to make his body looks super perfect. Maybe they are planning to snatch The Best Shirtless Performance.

"It's better for you to check on him rather than calling me and talk about my ex"

"Listen Tony! It's up to you if you want to believe what you see. But my advice is, you go to Amy and ask her about her life. After all, you two deserve to know what happened with each other's life. And man up! If she has her own family you should wish her well. But if she is single and very available, you owe me big!"

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