Bulletproof

44.

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44. I Don't Want You To Go.

It's been almost a month since I found out about Austin and UCLA, and since then I've avoided the entire subject of college. I know sooner or later we'll have to talk about it, but as for now, I choose later. Though it's August 3rd, meaning he has 12 days to tell UCLA what he wants, and I'm afraid if I don't talk to him soon, he'll agree to them, and leave me with short notice.

I've been distancing myself from him, some sort of comfort coming out with it. Because let's face it, if I distance myself and he leaves, then there's less heartbreak/ 

But I do miss sleeping in his bed. 

I roll out of bed with a sigh, checking the time. I only have 20 minutes before I'm supposed to meet Austin, but in all honesty I don't want to. Mother nature decided to be a raging bitch today and throw double the cramps at me today and I don't feel like doing anything. I pick up my phone and dial his number, waiting for him to pick up.

"Hello?" 

"Austin, can we take a rain check?" I scrunch up my face, as a pain shoots through my abdomen.

"Um, sure I guess" He sighs, and I start to feel upset "Can I ask why?" 

"Because I have a lot of stuff to do and I've held it all off" 

"Fine, I'll talk to you later" He says hanging up the phone, tears well up in my eyes but I push them away and lay down on my bed, plugging in my heating pad. 

An hour and two ibuprofen later, my door busts open and Austin walks in "What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I came here with chocolate, ice cream, Molly Ringwald from the 1980s movies and one very loving boyfriend" He looks in his bag.

I make a pouty face to hide my smile as he walks over to me, pressing a kiss to my lips and climbing into bed beside me.

"Okay so which one do you want to start?" He asks, pulling out The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, and For Keeps. All of which are my favorites.

"The Breakfast Club looks pretty good" I smile shyly, and he nods, putting it into my DVD player. He crawls back into my bed, and pulls me to sit between his legs, my back leaning against his chest.

"I have your favorite ice cream" He whispers into my ear, kissing the side of my head. He pulls out a tub of Breyer's Butter Almond ice cream and I nearly scream in excitement. He hands me the tub and a spoon from my kitchen "And some Hershey kisses for later" He grins, and I lean up to kiss him gently.

"I love you" I peck his lips "So, so much" I mumble between pecks, and he smiles.

"I love you Baby" 

The movie finally starts to begin, and I eat my ice cream in content occasionally lifting a spoon full of ice cream up to Austin, his not being able to resist.

"John Bender" I smirk, seeing the bad boy heart throb of 1985 "Have you seen him recently? It's a disappointment" I frown, shoveling more ice cream into my mouth "Ow ow ow" I whimper, my body hunching over.

"Are you okay Baby?" Austin asks, rubbing my back. I weakly nod, and take a deep breath leaning back into Austins chest. Austin slides his hand to my abdomen putting light pressure which seems to somehow make everything so much better "Better now?" He asks.

"Mhmm" I hum with a nod "Much"

We continue to watch the movie, Austin pressing light kisses on either by neck or temple every once in a while, and before I know it the movie is over and I'm falling asleep. 

///

"Baby? Wake up" Austin shakes me lightly.

My eyes flutter open and I yawn "Good morning" 

"It's 7 at night" He chuckles, and I groan.

"Why?" I whine dramatically.

"I woke you up to see if you want something to eat, I made waffles" He grins and I immediately perk up.

"Waffles?" I repeat and he nods.

"Made 'em myself" He winks grabbing my hand and leading me to my kitchen, I sit down at the counter top and he gives me a plate a waffles with whip cream, chocolate drizzle and a cherry along with two pieces of bacon.

"You went all out didn't you?" I giggle.

"Only the best for my baby" He kisses my temple, his hand rubbing my back. I dig into the waffles finishing them quicker than I started and Austin laughs.

"Woah, slow down Babe"

"Shut up" I roll my eyes playfully, my mouth full. I swallow what's in my mouth and look at Austin in confusion when he sighs "What's wrong?"

"Brogan, we need to talk" He states and I shake my head.

"No, nope I don't want to talk about it"

"But Baby, we can't keep holding it off. At some point in time we have to talk about this and I suggest now considering I have 12 days to make a decision" 

"I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It." I grit and he huffs in frustration.

"But we have to!" He yells.

"We have 12 days!" I argue.

"Even if we had 12,000 we'd still have to talk about it Brogs! We might as well just get it over with now" He retorts.

"Austin, I don't want to talk about it right now" I sigh, running my fingers through my hair.

"Brogan please" He whispers, putting his hands on my waist. 

"I don't want you to go" I sigh "But I don't want to keep you from doing what you want to do, if you go all the way to California there's no way we could work, and I don't think I'm ready for this to end" I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Why don't you think we'd make it?" 

"Because it's a 10 hour plane ride, no one wants to ride that every weekend, so I'd only see you on holidays and when you're on break and I feel like it would get to the two of us and we'd fail. I don't want that" 

"Then I won't go" He says simply and I huff.

"No Austin! Don't say you won't go because there's a chance we might not work out" 

"But if the reason you don't want me to go if because we might break up, then I'm going to stay here" He shrugs.

"That's not a reason to not go Austin, I want you to go because you think it's the right thing to do, not because of what I want" I sigh.

"I'm not going, that's the end of it" He shrugs "Los Angeles is overrated anyways" 

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